Sometimes it happens. Two people fall out of love and lose their
connection to one another. Maybe they’ve tried hard to fix things, to
no avail. Maybe they have kept things going for so long that they run
out of the energy or willingness to continue. Maybe being together just
doesn’t make sense anymore. It happens, quite often, in fact. That
doesn’t mean these people are failures or that they are bad people. But
that’s probably what they’re thinking about themselves, due mostly to
the dominant perception and narrative surrounding marriage.
Couldn’t
there be another way to look at it? Isn’t it possible for this to be
the best decision for two people, and their family? I would say, it
happens. And if care is taken in the process, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Instead it could be a wonderful beginning.
Read the rest of Andy Kang's alternative view of divorce in his post on the MWI Divorce Mediation Blog.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
7 Tips for an Amicable Divorce
Amicable divorce: Fact or fiction? The answer is: Fact AND fiction. Divorce, whether through mediation
or litigation, is not going to be a totally smooth ride without any
bumps. Having an amicable divorce might seem like an impossible goal. However, there are some steps you can take to make sure your
divorce is amicable and as civil as possible.
If you keep these points outlined by Manish Mathur in his blog posting on MWI's Divorce Mediation Blog in mind, the divorce process might just become a little easier.
If you keep these points outlined by Manish Mathur in his blog posting on MWI's Divorce Mediation Blog in mind, the divorce process might just become a little easier.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Navigating a Successful Divorce - Falmouth Community (Night) School - Oct. 2, 2013
Divorce doesn't have to be messy, and it also doesn't have
to be extremely expensive. The truth of the matter is that while ending a
marriage can be painful, frustrating, frightening, and completely life
altering, in most cases both parties want to avoid the large investment of time
and money and the antagonism and stress that can sometimes come with the
divorce process. If you are contemplating divorce, starting the process, or
looking at settlement options, this workshop could be for you. Join Falmouth and
Boston mediators Alan Jacobs and Josh Hoch who will look at the common concerns
which need to be addressed during a divorce. You’ll gain an understanding of
issues including child custody, child and spousal support, insurance, and asset,
liability and property division to help you make informed decisions regarding
your divorce. Time will also be spent introducing you to the various ways of
getting a divorce including doing it yourself, using a mediator, and the
different ways attorneys can be helpful. Participants will receive extensive
handouts and resource lists.
For more information or to register, please visit the Falmouth Community (Night) School web site.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
The Leading Causes of Divorce
The article below is reprinted from PRWeb.
If you think that incompatibility, infidelity, and money issues can lead a couple straight to divorce, you might just be right.
According to an August 2013 survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are basic incompatibility (43%), infidelity (28%), and money issues (22%). “Many couples lack the communication skills necessary to navigate financial disagreements in their marriage,” noted one respondent. “The emotional connection of money with safety and security in many people makes the financial disagreements more salient than other disagreements.”
“The incompatibility is usually caused by one or more of the other choices,” another CDFA professional added.
Several of the CDFA professionals surveyed noted that the most commonly-cited cause of divorce they hear from their clients – “basic incompatibility” – is usually created by deeper issues somewhere in the relationship – usually an emotional, physical, or financial breech of trust. This may help to explain the difference in findings between this survey and the findings of a 2012 academic study. “Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce” published in the Family Relations journal (v. 61, No. 4, Oct. 2012), looked at data for 4,574 couples as part of the U.S.-based “National Survey of Families and Households”. In the study, researchers Jeffrey Dew, Sonya Britt, and Sandra Huston examined data related to what couples argue about – including children, money, in-laws, and spending time together – and then looked at which of those couples were divorced four to five years later. According to the study, financial disagreements were the strongest disagreement types to predict divorce for both men and women.
In a poll conducted by http://www.DivorceMagazine.com this summer, the leading cause of divorce was found to be financial issues, followed closely by basic incompatibility. “During the divorce, the two most contentious issues are usually finances and children – in that order,” says Dan Couvrette, publisher of Divorce Magazine. “If there are no children, then basic incompatibility and communication problems follow on the heels of money problems.”
“I have long believed financial disagreements to be the most common cause of marital conflict and ultimately divorce,” says Justin A. Reckers, a CDFA professional based in Dan Diego, CA. “Now we have empirical evidence proving this is the case across all socio-economic classes.” Disparate goals and values around money coupled with the power and control financial prosperity represents makes money a common battle ground in marriages, Reckers adds. During their divorce, a couple may be playing out the same financial conflicts they had during their marriage. “Research is telling us to be cautious because these financial disagreements may have been the building blocks for the conflict that ended their marriage in the first place,” Reckers points out. As a CDFA professional, he helps couples to “realize their financial conflicts are usually just difficult decision-making processes set against the back-drop of competing goals and values. When clients realize this, the conflict becomes manageable and cases settle,” Reckers concludes.
If marriage is all about love, then divorce is all about money. “And when people are going through a divorce, they must keep their focus on the money,” says Jeffrey A. Landers, a CDFA professional based in New York, NY. The author of "Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally" (Sourced Media Books, 2012), Landers adds that divorces are now much more financially complicated than they were just ten or 15 years ago. “Today, it’s not unusual for marital assets to include residential and commercial real estate, sophisticated financial investments, complex employee compensation packages, and closely-held businesses or professional practices,” he says. “Finances, financial projections and analyses aren’t taught in law school – and good divorce attorneys understand they don’t have the expertise and/or the time to handle the financial complexities of their clients’ cases.” This means that more and more divorce attorneys are now encouraging their clients to hire a skilled CDFA professional to assist in their case.
“If a divorcing person hopes to lock in a secure financial future for themselves and their children, then it is vitally important to have a divorce financial advisor on their team,” asserts Landers. “And not just any financial advisor: they need one with the training and experience to handle their specific set of circumstances.”
CDFA professionals are found throughout the US and Canada, from California to New York to Toronto. For more information about how CDFA professionals help divorcing couples make better financial decisions, visit http://www.InstituteDFA.com.
If you think that incompatibility, infidelity, and money issues can lead a couple straight to divorce, you might just be right.
According to an August 2013 survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are basic incompatibility (43%), infidelity (28%), and money issues (22%). “Many couples lack the communication skills necessary to navigate financial disagreements in their marriage,” noted one respondent. “The emotional connection of money with safety and security in many people makes the financial disagreements more salient than other disagreements.”
“The incompatibility is usually caused by one or more of the other choices,” another CDFA professional added.
Several of the CDFA professionals surveyed noted that the most commonly-cited cause of divorce they hear from their clients – “basic incompatibility” – is usually created by deeper issues somewhere in the relationship – usually an emotional, physical, or financial breech of trust. This may help to explain the difference in findings between this survey and the findings of a 2012 academic study. “Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce” published in the Family Relations journal (v. 61, No. 4, Oct. 2012), looked at data for 4,574 couples as part of the U.S.-based “National Survey of Families and Households”. In the study, researchers Jeffrey Dew, Sonya Britt, and Sandra Huston examined data related to what couples argue about – including children, money, in-laws, and spending time together – and then looked at which of those couples were divorced four to five years later. According to the study, financial disagreements were the strongest disagreement types to predict divorce for both men and women.
In a poll conducted by http://www.DivorceMagazine.com this summer, the leading cause of divorce was found to be financial issues, followed closely by basic incompatibility. “During the divorce, the two most contentious issues are usually finances and children – in that order,” says Dan Couvrette, publisher of Divorce Magazine. “If there are no children, then basic incompatibility and communication problems follow on the heels of money problems.”
“I have long believed financial disagreements to be the most common cause of marital conflict and ultimately divorce,” says Justin A. Reckers, a CDFA professional based in Dan Diego, CA. “Now we have empirical evidence proving this is the case across all socio-economic classes.” Disparate goals and values around money coupled with the power and control financial prosperity represents makes money a common battle ground in marriages, Reckers adds. During their divorce, a couple may be playing out the same financial conflicts they had during their marriage. “Research is telling us to be cautious because these financial disagreements may have been the building blocks for the conflict that ended their marriage in the first place,” Reckers points out. As a CDFA professional, he helps couples to “realize their financial conflicts are usually just difficult decision-making processes set against the back-drop of competing goals and values. When clients realize this, the conflict becomes manageable and cases settle,” Reckers concludes.
If marriage is all about love, then divorce is all about money. “And when people are going through a divorce, they must keep their focus on the money,” says Jeffrey A. Landers, a CDFA professional based in New York, NY. The author of "Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally" (Sourced Media Books, 2012), Landers adds that divorces are now much more financially complicated than they were just ten or 15 years ago. “Today, it’s not unusual for marital assets to include residential and commercial real estate, sophisticated financial investments, complex employee compensation packages, and closely-held businesses or professional practices,” he says. “Finances, financial projections and analyses aren’t taught in law school – and good divorce attorneys understand they don’t have the expertise and/or the time to handle the financial complexities of their clients’ cases.” This means that more and more divorce attorneys are now encouraging their clients to hire a skilled CDFA professional to assist in their case.
“If a divorcing person hopes to lock in a secure financial future for themselves and their children, then it is vitally important to have a divorce financial advisor on their team,” asserts Landers. “And not just any financial advisor: they need one with the training and experience to handle their specific set of circumstances.”
CDFA professionals are found throughout the US and Canada, from California to New York to Toronto. For more information about how CDFA professionals help divorcing couples make better financial decisions, visit http://www.InstituteDFA.com.
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