Elder Care Issues Should Be Part of the Conversation

Yesterday, the Boston Globe reprinted an edited transcript of a conversation between Michelle Singletary and Tim Prosch, author of “The Other Talk: A Guide to Talking with Your Adult Children About the Rest of Your Life.”

The point of the "other talk" concept is that aging parents begin to share control of their lives with their adult children.  Prosch recommends the talk “is something you should do every year because things change. Your health changes, your finances change, your kids’ jobs change, and your opinions expressed in that first talk may change. So it’s important that you maintain the dialogue by sitting down annually and going through the talk.”

If you or someone you know could benefit from structured assistance in family decision making, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if elder mediation would be beneficial.

A Call for More Preventative Measures to Protect Elderly Citizens

As the population ages, a University of South Australia researcher is warning the number of elder abuse cases will also increase and is calling for more preventative measures to be put in place, such as elder mediation, to protect our elderly citizens.

In this article, Adjunct Associate Professor Dale Bagshaw writes that elderly citizens are vulnerable to a number of types of abuse, ranging from psychological to physical, but it is financial abuse that is the most often reported.  She says mediation can be a viable option for both the prevention and early intervention of elder abuse.

“Mediation has proven to be a successful strategy to address elder abuse. It provides an opportunity for family members and significant others to get to together to make plans or to have difficult conversations facilitated by an impartial third party."

“The mediator can ensure everyone’s needs are met and the interests, rights and safety of the older person are taken into account in decision-making."

“An older-person-centred mediation approach puts the safety of our older citizens first and makes sure their rights are upheld, especially when their capacity to do so themselves might be impaired for any number of reasons."

If you or someone you know could benefit from structured assistance in family decision making, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if elder mediation would be beneficial.

Examining Both Sides of a Paradox

A paradox is a contradiction: holding as true two ideas that appear inconsistent or logically impossible. Let’s say, for example, Mom and her children agree she can no longer stay in her home. The wealthiest child insists Mom moves to an upscale assisted living residence. But the other siblings think it’s more important that Mom’s money lasts as long as she does. Mom wants both.

In this excellent article Carolyn Parr examines how to deconstruct such a paradox as well as offering how a mediator can frame the question so that family members are able to examine both wings of the paradox.  In this case, “How can Mom move into an assisted living residence with amenities she likes and make her money last?”

If you or someone you know could benefit from structured assistance in family decision making, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if elder mediation would be beneficial.

Divorce court — the best way to discourage divorces

Interesting article in yesterday's Boston Globe by Jennifer Graham.

"Divorce is not yet a sacrament, but in the past half-century it’s become the next-best thing: a blessed event to be celebrated at parties replete with champagne toasts and freedom cakes."

But after spending a few days in family court Jennifer says, "Freedom’s just another word for why don’t we let a complete stranger decide where we live and how much of our money we can keep?”

Amber Serwat Releases Valuable eBook Discussing Mediation and Respectful Divorce

Amber Serwat, one of Minnesota's most trusted and qualified neutrals in the area of family law and divorce,  is offering her valuable expertise to all in the form of a free eBook. Her recently released eBook, "7 Benefits to Using Divorce Mediation: A Parent's Guide to a Respectful Divorce" is available now and may be downloaded now at no cost at http://www.mediation.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/AmberSerwat_ebook_final.pdf.

"I'm not only highly trained and professionally experienced, I've been there," said Serwat. "I'm a divorced parent of two as well as a step-parent. The fact that I've walked a similar path as my clients enhances my training and makes me uniquely qualified to assist divorcing parents. I'm interested in giving back to the community and I hope this eBook will be valuable to any parent facing or contemplating divorce and wondering if it's possible to go through this process with civility and a mutual focus on the children's needs and long-term well-being."

Take a Break from Divorce Litigation

I’ve had clients come to me in the middle of traditional, litigious divorces wondering if there might be a better alternative to battling their case through the court system.

If this is your situation and you yearn for a more civilized, less expense, and less time consuming method of settling your divorce, know that you can consider mediation at any time in the divorce process.  For example:

• In cases where attorneys are never involved;
• In cases where attorneys are consulted prior to the mediation, but are not involved in the mediation process;
• When attorney services are used only for review of the draft Memorandum of Understanding; and
• When clients are deeply involved in litigation, but want to try to settle their case in a more orderly, less contentious fashion. 

Certain situations merit consideration of “taking a break” from litigation. You may wish to consider divorce mediation if:

• Your children are being stressed or harmed by your litigation. 
• You are in emotional turmoil as a result of your litigation. 
• You have a need to feel that you have tried all “friendly” alternatives before going court (and, possibly, unleashing a torrent of bad feelings that may last a lifetime)
• You believe it might be wise to treat asset and liability issues separately from parenting issues. 
• You and your attorney no longer see eye to eye; 
• There is a single issue that is holding up the entire settlement; 
• Your attorney fees feel like the National Debt. 

If you or someone you know could benefit from structured assistance in decision making around your divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if divorce me­diation would be beneficial.

Will I Have Health Insurance After A Divorce?

This is a common question and concern for many people going through a divorce. Often, spouses have group health insurance coverage through one spouse’s employer. But what about stay-at-home moms that do not have access to an employer group plan because they do not work? Can their spouses, out of spite, say ‘no’ to allowing them to remain on his/her plan?

In this excellent blog posting Diane C. Pappas explains the intricacies of the Massachusetts laws that protect spouses in certain circumstances and allow for continuance of coverage in the event the marriage is terminated by divorce.


Diane also offers 4 tips when considering health insurance after divorce:

• Know the health plan currently available to the family – Obtain the Summary Plan Description from the insured spouse’s HR department. This is the only document that will tell you if the plan is self-funded. The Summary of Benefits does not provide this information;
• Know the costs – Premium, out-of-pocket limits, deductibles, co-insurance costs, co-pays;
• Know your options – Government, military and church plans have their own rules. Find out the cost of COBRA before you agree to anything, research private plans;
• Plan for contingencies – Your Separation Agreement should address all health insurance concerns. If you do need to find your own insurance, negotiate for your spouse to help pay for it. Know that alimony cannot be reduced as a result of the obligor’s cost for health insurance for the spouse. Some employers may add the cost of the spouse’s premium as W2 income to the employee – know this ahead of time so there are no surprises.