Confused About Divorce and Social Security?

You might be entitled to a Social Security benefit from your ex-spouse.

In this excellent article, Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz outlines the straightforward, basic qualifications.

• Your marriage must have lasted at least 10 years.
• You must currently be single.
• You must be at least 62 years old.
• The benefit you would receive based on your own work record must be less than the benefit you would receive based on your ex’s record.

It’s also interesting to note that the amount that you collect on your ex-spouse’s earnings record won’t have any effect on what your ex or his or her current spouse can collect.

Back to School After a Divorce

School is back in session. That means a change of schedule, a change of weather and -- when you're divorced -- a change in how you need to interact with your ex. After all, just because you are no longer husband and wife (or boyfriend and girlfriend), you are still mom and dad.

In this excellent article Michelle Crosby presents some tips on how you and your partner can be on the same page with how you're going to manage transitions and support your child's scholastic needs.

Mediation Guarantees Your Outcome in Divorce

There is nothing worse than feeling out of control when facing separation or divorce. It’s a reality today that many couples are facing.

In this excellent blog posting Mary Krauel describes how "mediation is a positive process which brings couples to the table for a frank and open discussion which helps set the basis for a positive, realistic pro-active plan which supports the needs of mom and dad and in particular, the children."

In this excellent article in yesterday's New York Times, Robert Emery talks about how divorced parents lose their rights to make parenting choices when they delegate to the court.

"Divorced parents (or those who never married) can and do sue each other. Judges routinely decide where the children of divorced parents will attend school, worship and receive medical care; judges may even decide whether they play soccer or take piano lessons.

Instead of telling parents how to bring up their children, we should honor — and encourage — agreements between parents. This change could help us move away from litigation and toward alternative kinds of dispute resolution."

Why You Should Opt for a Mediated Divorce

As in Massachusetts, the family courts in Ontario are backlogged because we’ve been conditioned to believe the divorce process has to be both litigious and expensive.

In this blog posting Gail Val-Oxlade writes why a common-sense, mediated divorce is a good idea:

• It’ll cost 75 per cent less than going to court.
• You will come to an agreement with your ex (who will be your ex for perhaps longer than you were married!)
• Your privacy is maintained. Go to court and your personal information becomes a matter of public record.
• You create a win/win. The separation agreement you come up with can be better tailored to your specific situation.
• There will be less stress on the kids.
• It’s faster. You can take years to get through the courts or be done in half the time with a mediated divorce.
• You matter. You’re not just a file number or a catalyst for billable hours. Getting you through to the next chapter whole and healthy is part of the mediation process.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation.  We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

Parental Conflict is a Source of Continual Pain for our Children

Most mental health professionals have long known: that parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced!

According to Dr. Mark Goulston,: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.”

In this excellent blog posting Rosalind Sedacca writes how minding your tongue around your kids can be one of the most difficult behaviors to master after a divorce. However, it is also one of the behaviors that will most benefit your children on a long-term basis. Don’t let anger, bitterness and indiscriminate remarks hurt and harm your kids. Work on maintaining the best possible relationship with your ex – for the sake of the children.