While the rate of divorce for the general population was relatively flat between 1990 and 2010, the divorce rate for couples age 50 and over doubled during that span.
Why?
As Daniel R. Burns writes in this excellent blog posting, part of the reason is that older couples often have more financial resources to fall back on. Also, women in the workforce who have their own retirement accounts and salary which makes them less dependent on their spouses for support. Even those who do not have their own retirement accounts or pensions are usually entitled, by state law, to share in the accounts owned by their spouses. And, if a marriage has lasted at least 10 years, the non-working spouse is entitled to receive 50% of his or her spouse’s Social Security benefit.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Friday, January 23, 2015
Kids & Families First: The Magic of Mediation
When parents choose mediation, a non-adversarial method toward divorce, they're less stressed, which in turn reduces stress for their children. Parents must focus on their shared parental responsibilities, shifting the traditional "win-lose" posturing. Having relaxed, responsible parents translates to healthier, well-adjusted children.
In this excellent blog posting from The Maine Free Press, Judith Hatch Orme writes that "mediation provides good preparation for parenting after separation or divorce. It will be necessary to co-parent, making important decisions for your children. The other person will be your child's other parent for the rest of your life. There is clear evidence that most children are best served when receiving the emotional and financial support of both parents. Further, conflict adversely impacts children. When caught in the crossfire of divorce, they experience sadness, anger, loss of security, and diminished self-esteem, at a time of heightened vulnerability."
Like Judith, helping parents develop parenting plans that lead all family members ultimately to a place of increased growth, understanding, and personal empowerment is my goal.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
In this excellent blog posting from The Maine Free Press, Judith Hatch Orme writes that "mediation provides good preparation for parenting after separation or divorce. It will be necessary to co-parent, making important decisions for your children. The other person will be your child's other parent for the rest of your life. There is clear evidence that most children are best served when receiving the emotional and financial support of both parents. Further, conflict adversely impacts children. When caught in the crossfire of divorce, they experience sadness, anger, loss of security, and diminished self-esteem, at a time of heightened vulnerability."
Like Judith, helping parents develop parenting plans that lead all family members ultimately to a place of increased growth, understanding, and personal empowerment is my goal.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Monday, January 19, 2015
Alimony - Friend or Foe?
Just as Chris writes, I am amazed at how often both the purpose and spirit of alimony are misunderstood by receiving spouses in a divorce matter.
Granted that alimony is a bitter pill to swallow for the paying spouse in a divorce who is already on the hook for a myriad of other obligations, it has become the "black sheep" of divorce law, often viewed as evil, greedy, spiteful, selfish, retaliatory and punitive.
Instead, alimony's purpose is to provide basic support for a spouse emerging from a divorce who is in need of financial assistance to pay their day-to-day expenses as they work to rebuild their own financial future, or to provide assistance if they are incapable of gainful employment after divorce due to a disability. In this sense, alimony is entirely moral and appropriate, but only when it is necessary.
Read the rest of Chris' blog posting at Mediate.com.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Granted that alimony is a bitter pill to swallow for the paying spouse in a divorce who is already on the hook for a myriad of other obligations, it has become the "black sheep" of divorce law, often viewed as evil, greedy, spiteful, selfish, retaliatory and punitive.
Instead, alimony's purpose is to provide basic support for a spouse emerging from a divorce who is in need of financial assistance to pay their day-to-day expenses as they work to rebuild their own financial future, or to provide assistance if they are incapable of gainful employment after divorce due to a disability. In this sense, alimony is entirely moral and appropriate, but only when it is necessary.
Read the rest of Chris' blog posting at Mediate.com.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Friday, January 16, 2015
How Long Will Our Divorce Mediation Take?
Like Susan Ingram, when I first meet with my clients, they often ask me how long the divorce mediation process will take. My answer is – it depends. In reality, it depends on any number of different factors, such as:
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
- How complicated their issues are
- Whether they have children or not
- Whether they’re both “on the same page” as to the end of their relationship
- Whether they’re waiting for certain events to occur (such as the sale of a home) before finalizing their arrangements.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Experts Advise on Avoiding Financial Disaster
As the divorce level rises among couples over 50, experts suggest that the only ones getting rich are the divorce attorneys.
This article from the Law Firm Newswire recommends that, “If older couples can reach an agreement outside of court, they should. Once the process turns to litigation, retirement assets that took a lifetime to build can end up being needed to pay lawyers and court fees.”
It goes on to state that couples can save money by choosing a divorce process other than traditional litigated divorce. The most cost-effective option, frequently, is divorce mediation.
This article from the Law Firm Newswire recommends that, “If older couples can reach an agreement outside of court, they should. Once the process turns to litigation, retirement assets that took a lifetime to build can end up being needed to pay lawyers and court fees.”
It goes on to state that couples can save money by choosing a divorce process other than traditional litigated divorce. The most cost-effective option, frequently, is divorce mediation.
Monday, January 12, 2015
7 tTips Yo Make And Keep A Connection With Your Kids Long-distance
It’s never easy for children to be separated from their parents, whether
it’s because of a brief business trip or a move across the country due
to a job or personal reason. However, after divorce the stakes get
higher because children of divorce often feel the sting of rejection
after one of their parents move out.
In this excellent blog posting Terry Gaspard offers these tips to make long-distance parenting work after divorce:
1. Send your children funny or interesting postcards once a week. If you have more than one child, some group cards are acceptable. Make sure to make the messages positive such as “I’m looking forward to seeing you soon!” or “Good luck on your spelling test.”
2. Call at different times. While it’s a good idea to have a regular time to call your children, spontaneous phone calls can be a nice surprise and help your children to feel that you are thinking of him/her.
3. Use text, Skype, e-mail, and Instagram in addition to regular phone calls. Be sure to send photos and ask questions about their week such as: “How was the sleepover at Madison’s house?”
4. Get to know your children’s friends and be sure to invite them on vacations and outings. Meeting the parents of your children’s friends can be a big plus because they will feel more comfortable if you invite them on a weekend excursion such as a camping trip or to stay at a hotel.
5. Tune into your children’s passions and engage in small talk about it. Research on-line and in-person ways to engage with them around these interests.
6. Be sure to spend plenty of alone time with your children. If you have a new partner in your life, don’t introduce them unless you’re fairly sure it’s a permanent relationship.
7. Ask your children what’s the best way to stay in touch. For instance, would they prefer that you travel to visit them? Or, do they want to come see you? You may find that this changes from time to time so be sure to have regular check-ins with him/her.
In this excellent blog posting Terry Gaspard offers these tips to make long-distance parenting work after divorce:
1. Send your children funny or interesting postcards once a week. If you have more than one child, some group cards are acceptable. Make sure to make the messages positive such as “I’m looking forward to seeing you soon!” or “Good luck on your spelling test.”
2. Call at different times. While it’s a good idea to have a regular time to call your children, spontaneous phone calls can be a nice surprise and help your children to feel that you are thinking of him/her.
3. Use text, Skype, e-mail, and Instagram in addition to regular phone calls. Be sure to send photos and ask questions about their week such as: “How was the sleepover at Madison’s house?”
4. Get to know your children’s friends and be sure to invite them on vacations and outings. Meeting the parents of your children’s friends can be a big plus because they will feel more comfortable if you invite them on a weekend excursion such as a camping trip or to stay at a hotel.
5. Tune into your children’s passions and engage in small talk about it. Research on-line and in-person ways to engage with them around these interests.
6. Be sure to spend plenty of alone time with your children. If you have a new partner in your life, don’t introduce them unless you’re fairly sure it’s a permanent relationship.
7. Ask your children what’s the best way to stay in touch. For instance, would they prefer that you travel to visit them? Or, do they want to come see you? You may find that this changes from time to time so be sure to have regular check-ins with him/her.
Friday, January 9, 2015
7 Common Mistakes to Avoid in Divorce or Separation
While every situation is unique, the fact remains that there is a
right way and a wrong way to go about a separation or divorce. There are
a number of things that you and your spouse can and should do to make
the process go as smoothly as possible.
Unfortunately, as Cheryl and Joe Dillon write in this excellent blog posting , I have encountered many couples that were, whether intentionally or unintentionally, committing common mistakes that actually hindered the separation and divorce process.
If you are planning to leave your spouse, here are seven common mistakes to avoid:
Unfortunately, as Cheryl and Joe Dillon write in this excellent blog posting , I have encountered many couples that were, whether intentionally or unintentionally, committing common mistakes that actually hindered the separation and divorce process.
If you are planning to leave your spouse, here are seven common mistakes to avoid:
- Failing to produce accurate financial information
- Letting emotions take over
- Not considering your kids
- Focusing on the past
- Forgetting about taxes
- Refusing to compromise
- Not taking the time to learn your options before beginning the process
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Don't Blindly Go to Court
When famous celebrities like Maria Carey, Tom Cruise, Halle Berry and
others battle through a divorce, the stakes are high. Millions of
dollars are often in contention, blurring issues related to child
custody and visitation. These couples hire killer attorneys and commit
to paying an enormous price -- which includes not only hefty legal fees,
but a tremendous time expenditure and emotional toll.
Too many non-celebrity couples facing divorce blindly choose this same path -- often without considering the reality of all the costs involved. They do not have the revenue to maintain ongoing litigation in the courts. Nor do they have a game plan for putting together the pieces of their shattered family after the legal battles are finally over. Sadly they come to realize that celebrities are usually poor role models. They don't necessarily make the wisest decisions regarding their children's best interest as they move through and beyond divorce.
In this excellent blog posting, Rosalind Sedacca writes that it's easy to forget that divorce litigation is really a luxury, not a necessity. And it's often a luxury that results in material success at the cost of familial success. Not only is fighting expensive, it's often more about ego than concern for the best interest of your kids. The money spent in court fighting over details could instead be used for living expenses or savings toward your child's education. Those same issues could just as easily have been resolved through mediation -- and at a much lower price.
Too many non-celebrity couples facing divorce blindly choose this same path -- often without considering the reality of all the costs involved. They do not have the revenue to maintain ongoing litigation in the courts. Nor do they have a game plan for putting together the pieces of their shattered family after the legal battles are finally over. Sadly they come to realize that celebrities are usually poor role models. They don't necessarily make the wisest decisions regarding their children's best interest as they move through and beyond divorce.
In this excellent blog posting, Rosalind Sedacca writes that it's easy to forget that divorce litigation is really a luxury, not a necessity. And it's often a luxury that results in material success at the cost of familial success. Not only is fighting expensive, it's often more about ego than concern for the best interest of your kids. The money spent in court fighting over details could instead be used for living expenses or savings toward your child's education. Those same issues could just as easily have been resolved through mediation -- and at a much lower price.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Items To Think About When Filing Your Taxes after Divorce
Many couples divorce using mediation or collaborative divorce and are
able to dissolve the marriage in a cooperative and respectful way that
takes every member of the family into consideration.
But there is another player: What you have to remember is that there is no touchy-feeliness about divorce in the eyes of the Internal Revenue Service. Filing your tax return after your divorce the first year could be tricky and more complicated than you think.
In this excellent blog posting Bob Bordett writes about items to think about.
But there is another player: What you have to remember is that there is no touchy-feeliness about divorce in the eyes of the Internal Revenue Service. Filing your tax return after your divorce the first year could be tricky and more complicated than you think.
In this excellent blog posting Bob Bordett writes about items to think about.
- Who claims the children?
- What’s your filing status?
- Alimony and Child Support
- Division of Assets
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