Four Reasons Your Ex May Not Want To See The Kids

In most divorces I've handled where the couple have children, they fight to be able to see them as much as possible.  It can be hard to share them but that is what has to be done in order for everyone to win.  A plan is made and approved as far as parenting time and the children are encouraged so that they can adjust to it.

Yet not everyone wants to have a role in the lives of their children after a divorce.  As difficult as this may be to understand it is, unfortunately, the truth.  In this excellent blog posting, Carol Ferguson, writes about the many reasons why a person may not want to have anything to do with their children after a divorce. 

Children can be severely affected by this type of scenario.  They can definitely blame themselves for their parent removing themselves from their lives.  Sometimes they will blame the parent they are with for running them the other parent off.  This is a discussion you need to have with your children.  You can decide how honest you want to be with them about it.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

The 18 Best Things You Can Do For Your Kids After Divorce

Raising your kids after divorce isn't easy. You constantly worry about how the split will affect them in the long run -- and let's face it, interacting with your ex in the name of co-parenting isn't always a walk in the park.

Still, if you strive to put your kids first, divorce can absolutely be an opportunity to be a better parent than you were before your marriage ended. Last week, the Huff Post asked their Twitter and Facebook followers to share with them what they believe is the best thing you can do for your kids after divorce.

Here are 18 of their favorite responses.

Nine Reasons to Choose Divorce Mediation

While I would rank these reasons somewhat differently - couples making all the decisions in mediation and mediation being much more emotionally protective of a couple's children rate higher for me - this list of reasons put together by Susan Ingram to choose divorce mediation make a compelling case.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. I will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

To Stay or To Go - Divorce and the Family Home

When considering a divorce and the family home, take your time to evaluate your options. Don’t base your decision on emotions!

When facing a divorce, it’s common for any number of reasons, for one spouse to express a desire to stay in the family home. The spouse may want to minimize disruption in the lives of the children. Or they may simply want the comfort of familiar surroundings as they face dramatic life-altering changes. Under these circumstances, many profound emotional forces can be at play.

As Cathy DeWitt Dunn writes, it is best to set emotions aside and ask yourself, does it make financial sense to retain the family home? Before making your decision, make an effort to undertake a realistic assessment of your situation. You can start by considering these four factors:

• Market conditions and Current Home Value
• Mortgage Qualification
• Costs of Other Options
• Buyouts

The emotions and details surrounding the decision to retain or sell the family dwelling can be overwhelming. So it’s important to put aside emotions as much as possible and direct your energies into making a realistic assessment of your circumstances.

Help Plan for Taxes with Divorce Mediation

One of the little-known benefits of divorce mediation is the ability it gives couples to plan for future taxes, says Gerald Maggio, a California divorce mediator.

Divorced couples who do not communicate clearly about taxes can end up with rejected returns, audits and tax penalties. Divorced or separated parents must agree which parent will claim their children as a dependent on a tax return and the implications of spousal support.

“Divorcing couples can use divorce mediation to discuss and plan for taxes, and when circumstances change, divorced couples can always come back to mediation to create a new arrangement,” remarked Maggio. “It is not just about avoiding problems with the IRS — mediation can also eliminate potential sources of conflict at a time of year that may already be stressful.”