Mediation Complements a "Do It Yourself" Online Divorce

Online programs such as It’s Over Easy can walk you through a divorce process, but should you really, completely, “do it yourself” (DIY)?  You might have gone into the divorce process thinking, “We want a simple divorce.” Then you realize that you and your spouse have issues you didn’t even know you need to resolve. It’s at that point you realize it’s not necessarily going to be “over easy.”

If that describes you, mediation can be a great compliment to your online divorce. Artificial intelligence and its applications can help you move through the divorce process: It can generate a checklist of issues that need to be resolved; it can generate legal forms; it may have built-in tools to help create a parenting plan. But it’s not going to help you come to a thoughtful agreement if there is a dispute between you and your spouse.

Online programs may seem like a good fit for low-conflict and relatively simple divorces. But some issues can be more complicated. A mediator will help you deal with the specific circumstances that you and your spouse are facing now and could face in the future like: “What if I lose my job?” or “What if this changes, or that happens?” There’s only so much the computer can know to ask.

A few meetings with a mediator can help ensure that you have discussed all of the relevant issues and will make sure you have a legally binding Settlement Agreement to file with the rest of the divorce papers that will be generated in the online program.

And speaking of those divorce papers, there are a lot of them to fill out if you’re getting divorced in Massachusetts.

When you work with me as your mediator I will make sure your agreement has addressed all of the issues that are important to you and your spouse and that your divorce papers are properly filled out.

Ten Ways To Protect Your Kids From The Fallout Of A High Conflict Break-Up

In this blog posting, Dr. Joan B. Kelly offers ten ways to protect you children during your divorce.

• Talk to your children about your separation.
• Be discreet.
• Act like grown-ups. Keep your conflict away from the kids.
• Stay in the picture.
• Deal with anger appropriately.
• Be a good parent.
• Manage your own mental health.
• Keep the people your children care about in their lives.
• Be thoughtful about your future love life.
• Pay your child support.

Secrets a Divorce Lawyer Doesn’t Want You to Know

If you’re the one going through a divorce, your first instinct might be to turn to your divorce lawyer when questions come up. However, in this blog posting, Sheiresa Ngo writes about eight things your divorce lawyer might not be willing to tell you.

1. Some attorneys overbill by encouraging fights. Divorce is an emotional time. However, it’s important not to let your emotions rule your decisions. Do you want to fight with your soon-to-be ex about trivial matters, so your lawyer can drag things out and charge more money?
2. You can reduce costs by hiring a mediator.
3. You can save money by photocopying your own documents. You’ll be billed for the time the staff spends copying your paperwork. Instead of taking on these costs, do it yourself.
4. You can handle some parts of the divorce yourself. While you have to be careful, if your divorce is uncontested, this is an option you might want to consider. In an uncontested divorce, you and your soon-to-be ex agree on major terms of the divorce ... child support, child custody, spousal support, visitation, and property division.
5. In some cases, you might want to delay your divorce. If you were married for 10 years or more and you are age 62 or older, you’re eligible to receive a portion of your former spouse’s Social Security benefits (or disability benefits).
6. Contacting your lawyer can get expensive. Don’t forget you’re being charged for communicating with your lawyer. Even if it’s just a short email or quick phone call, it could make a big difference in your bill.
7. You may have to accept responsibility for the divorce. If you are involved in a fault-based divorce, things could get messy. A fault-based divorce is when one spouse engaged in behavior that gives legal justification for ending the marriage. Some examples include adultery, cruelty, a felony conviction, or desertion. If you are the spouse who engaged in one of these behaviors, this could negatively impact decisions such as child custody and property division.
8. Divorce is a lot more expensive than you realize. Divorce is expensive and it can cost more than many people are prepared to handle. Know that a contested, litigated divorce can cost as much as $50,000 (and in some cases even more).