Modifying a Child Support Order in Massachusetts

In general, Massachusetts child support orders can be modified at any time until the final emancipation of a child through a Complaint for Modification filed by either parent seeking a change in child support.  The amount of child support is determined by the Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines. A child support judgment may be modified for any of the following reasons set forth in the Guidelines as follows:

• There is an inconsistency between the amount of the existing order and the amount that would result from the application of the guidelines.
• Previously ordered health care coverage is no longer available.
• Previously ordered health care coverage is still available but no longer at a reasonable cost or without an undue hardship.
• Access to health care coverage not previously available to a parent has become available.
• Any other material and substantial change in circumstances has occurred.

Most child support modifications are driven by a change in the child support guideline calculation order based on an increase or decrease in one or both parties’ gross incomes. Such modification actions are often triggered by the filing parent’s job loss or a promotion or new job for the other parent.

Many child support modifications start with the filing of a Complaint for Contempt, which requires the parties to file financial statements, which then leads to a recalculation of child support. Similarly, a major change in parenting time – i.e. a change in primary physical custody between parents, or a change from shared physical custody to sole custody for one party – can also trigger child support modifications, since amount of child support under the Guidelines varies widely based on whether the parties share physical custody of the child(ren) versus one parent serving as the primary custodian.

Courts can also modify child support based on “material and substantial change in circumstances”. A change in circumstances must be significant enough to render the initial child support order inappropriate under the circumstances. For example, if a parent loses a job through no fault of their own, they may seek a modification to reduce their child support, at least until they become gainfully employed again.

Similarly, if a child developed a medical condition that required the use of adaptive equipment—such as a wheelchair, or crutches—and routine physical therapy treatments, a party can request the court to modify the child support order to increase the amount of payments to help cover the additional expenses arising from the child’s medical condition. (Often, however, the parties have an agreement that they will split equally the cost of any uninsured medical expenses for the child, so a modification of base child support in that situation may not be necessary.) A parent’s illness can also justify a modification in support, in both the child support and alimony contexts. (Indeed, the law includes very specific remedies if the child support paying parent begins receiving SSDI.)

The Guidelines also provide judges broad discretion to modify child support for unusual, unexpected circumstances affecting the lives of a party or child. Perhaps a parent’s new spouse contracts a terminal illness. Perhaps a child is admitted in a special education facility full-time. Perhaps one parent hits the lottery. Courts can increase or decrease child support based on a wide variety of factors. However, to the extent that the new child support judgment represents deviation from the Child Support Guidelines, judges are required to enter written findings explaining the purpose of the deviation.

Improving Co-Parenting Communication

Divorce signals the end of your marriage, but your relationship with your ex-spouse never really ends if you have children.

You are no longer husband and wife, but you are co-parents, and limiting disagreements and working effectively is critical to aiding your children’s development. Of course, finding ways to get along isn’t so easy if there is a high amount of conflict in your relationship.

Here are several tips you might find helpful as you work to improve communication with your ex and form a healthy co-parenting relationship.

Treat your ex like a business partner
You’ve likely had a co-worker who you didn’t necessarily care for and yet you still found a way to get along with them well enough to do your job. Start thinking about your relationship with your ex in the same terms.

When you communicate, keep things simple and don’t delve into personal matters regarding your relationship with her. There is nothing to gain from rehashing old arguments.

Your conversations should focus on matters affecting your children. Communicate directly and never use your kids as a go-between, which will only cause them more anxiety.

Don’t talk down about your ex around the kids
No matter how nasty your ex acts, never badmouth her in front of the children. That is still the mother of your children and you need to try as hard as you can to remain respectful. Your kids will appreciate you for it.

It’s understandable if you need to vent from time to time. But save that for a close friend, relative or counselor. Make sure there is no chance your kids overhear the conversation.

Don’t argue in front of the children
Similarly, never have an argument with your ex in front of your kids.

You should do whatever you can to keep communication civil and polite, however sometimes blowups are unavoidable. If you do have a disagreement, try to conduct it in private out of earshot from the children. While it might be difficult to swallow your pride, you are probably better off turning the other cheek.

It’s important to realize you are never going to change who your ex is. You likely learned this fact during the divorce process. So you are better off using your energy to figure out an effective way to work together since she is going to remain your co-parenting partner regardless.

If your ex insists on starting unnecessary arguments, it might be worth considering a parallel parenting arrangement to reduce the amount of contact you have with her.

Focus on what’s in your control
Something that is difficult for a lot of parents is coming to the realization that you can’t control what goes on in your ex’s household. As long as she is not putting the kids in any danger, you must learn to let go of any control issues you have.

Your parenting style might be different from the one your ex employs. That’s not the end of the world. Come to an agreement on basic things to ensure your children’s health and safety, but it’s OK if the two of you parent differently.

Focus on what you can control and let go of everything else. As with everything, a positive attitude is key.

Don’t complain to your ex
Even if you are on good terms with your ex, it is impossible to avoid the occasional disagreement. But you want to avoid airing a laundry list of complaints every time you talk.

You’ll foster better communication by acting respectfully. Think about how you would like her to approach you if you did something she disagreed with.

Instead of snapping, “Why has Billy been staying up so late?” at her, ask her calmly, “Hey, can we talk about Billy’s bed time? I’m worried he’s not getting enough sleep and it might be why his grades are slipping.”

Quiet your support system
Your support system is critical for helping you survive divorce and will remain important as you work to become a better co-parent. But they have no business getting mixed up in your co-parenting relationship.

Far too often a new spouse or grandparent or sibling will spout off about how you and your ex are handling your co-parenting relationship. That isn’t constructive and only causes trouble between you and your ex.

You and your ex are the parents. Your support system is your support system. They should be there to help you, not critique your co-parenting techniques.

Social Media Mistakes To Avoid During Divorce

Divorce is often a messy and stressful life event that leaves you wanting to scream to anyone who will listen. It’s completely normal to want to vent when going through such a grueling process and confiding in someone with a sympathetic ear can help you cope with the daily struggle.

Airing your grievances with a few close friends or family members is one thing, but going online to disclose intimate personal details of your breakup with a few hundred acquaintances is another. In this day and age, social media allows users to quickly and easily share as much of their private lives as they please. During divorce, this can spell disaster.  More often than not, it’s best to shut down social media use completely until your divorce is final.

In this excellent blog posting, Shawn Garrison lists four common social media blunders to make sure you avoid during your divorce.