Social Media and Divorce: Here’s Why Facebook is NOT Your Friend!

Human beings are social creatures. We WANT to connect with each other. We want to share. Most of all, we want to know that we’re not alone – especially when we’re down and feel like life is kicking us in the teeth.

The problem is that connecting and sharing on social media while you’re going through a divorce can be one of the biggest divorce mistakes you’ll ever make.

In this excellent blog posting, Karen Covy writes why being on social media while you’re going through a divorce can hurt you.

Teenagers Taking Sides: A Painful Consequence of Divorce

"I am divorced for a short while, after being separated for several years. My 16-year-old daughter is awful to me and she yells “I hate you” and even curses at me even in public. ... I don’t know what to do."

Perhaps the most difficult challenge relating to divorce and parenting is the alienation that can occur between one parent and his/her child(ren).

In this excellent blog posting, Rosalind Sedacca offers her perspective on this all to common experience.

Beware the Stranger in Black Robes

There are lots of reasons to keep your case out of court. It is less stressful, more likely to result in a longer lasting agreement, and potentially will save a lot of money if you and your soon to be ex can mediate instead of litigate your case. Nowadays you may even be able to mediate online. On the other hand, if you have an impossible or unengaged spouse, court litigation may be your only option.

Before deciding to run into court, evaluate whether that is really your only option. 

In this excellent blog posting Gabrielle Hartley offers 5 reasons to avoid having judges - strangers in black robes - deciding your life:

* Going to court puts your future in the hands of a stranger.
* Limits to What the Judge Hears.
* Don’t Details Matter?……Well, yes and no.
* Judges are Just People.
* Court wastes time and money.

The Challenge of Co-Parenting During the Summer of COVID-19

This summer is presenting challenges that we have never faced before. With the COVID-19 pandemic still upon us, our summer options are much more limited, and this is causing a lot of scheduling disruptions. For couples who are separated or divorced and co-parenting children, this season is likely to be particularly stressful as they try to balance work and their kids in the midst of numerous schedule changes.

You are likely to run into a lot of cancellations this summer. Many beaches, parks, resorts, and summer camps are closed, and many people are still apprehensive about getting on an airplane with the threat of the coronavirus still looming. This means a lot of vacations and summer activities for the children are getting canceled, which means that kids will probably be spending a lot more time at home.

At the same time, a lot of parents are heading back to the office or wherever their workplace happens to be, so they may run into a lot of challenges trying to get someone to watch the kids. In any other year, grandparents would usually make good babysitters, but this year, we need to take every precaution to protect those who are aging or infirmed. The bottom line is that in a lot of cases, just about everything they had worked out for the summer will need to be changed.

Extraordinary Times Call for Extraordinary Cooperation

We know that these are unprecedented times, and they are hard on everybody. No one asked for this pandemic, and this is not anybody’s fault (or at least it’s not the fault of the other parent or anyone in your immediate circle). This situation calls for patience, flexibility, and a lot of grace.

As you deal with the difficulties of co-parenting in the midst of a global pandemic, this would be a good time for parents who are having scheduling challenges to extend an olive branch to each other and work together. By being flexible and working together now, it can go a long way toward building a stronger relationship in which effective communication is a centerpiece.

Communicate with the other parent, be open and honest about the issues you are facing, and try to come up with a workable alternative for the summer months and even into the fall (in the event that we face a second wave of this virus). Get creative.

This situation is far from ideal for everyone involved, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make something good come out of it. Perhaps a change in your regular summer routine is an opportunity to start something new that could eventually become a family tradition. You never know what might come out of this if you innovate and maintain a positive attitude.

Falmouth Mediation is Here to Help

During the summer of COVID-19, co-parents should work together as much as possible to resolve scheduling difficulties. If you are unable to do it successfully on your own, however, help is just a phone call or email away. At Falmouth Mediation, I have helped numerous couples with creative co-parenting solutions over the years, and I am available to serve your needs.

I am currently offering extended hours to accommodate major scheduling changes. I provide virtual mediation via teleconferencing or videoconferencing, whichever you prefer. For more information or to schedule a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation visit FalmouthMediation.com or call 508-566-4159.

Coronavirus Updates: Massachusetts Probate & Family Court News and Update

With the number of coronavirus cases in Massachusetts declining, courthouses in the state are slowly beginning to reopen for business in ways that will soon impact family law and divorce cases. On June 24, 2020, Chief Justice of the Probate & Family Court, John D. Casey, announced a change to Standing Order 2-20, which includes a blueprint for courts to resume live, in-person hearings after more than three months of conducting nearly all court business by phone and video conferences.

On July 13, 2020, the Probate Court judges will resume trials and evidentiary hearings in live sessions. However, the rule makes clear that even after partial re-opening, the court will attempt to keep conducting as many virtual hearings as possible.

However, the rule makes clear that even after partial re-opening, the court will attempt to keep conducting as many virtual hearings as possible.

"The judges of the Probate and Family Court are continuing to attempt to hear all case types/events, excluding trials and evidentiary hearings, virtually, in whole or in part, where it is practicable to do so. The volume and type of cases to be heard will be determined by the Register and First Justice, collectively, and will be scheduled based upon on-site and remote staffing availability and the availability of technological support and training needed to conduct virtual hearings. Because of the unique characteristics of each physical location, some courts will not be able to safely increase staffing levels in the same way as other locations. To facilitate the business of each division, in the discretion of the First Justice, the individual assignment of cases may be relaxed so that all cases may be heard as scheduled."

The effective lock-down of the courts in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic does not need to deter couples who have been planning to resolve their divorce through divorce mediation. I offer teleconference and on-line video mediation to quickly and effectively start or continue the divorce process and resolve urgent financial and child-related issues resulting from the coronavirus crisis while the courts are closed.

For more information or to schedule a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation visit FalmouthMediation.com or call 508-566-4159.