Consulting Attorneys and Mediation

I always advise my clients to have separate, independent counsel review any agreement before they sign it. About half my clients choose to do so; about half do not.

In this article, Susan Ingram explains that, as divorce mediators, we must, and will, give a couple information about the law. This includes equitable distribution of property, parenting plans, and child support.

Susan also explains that mediators work in a neutral capacity with both parties, and do not offer separate legal advice to either one of them.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

Refinancing a Mortgage During Divorce

If you’re considering divorce, the first question for most couples is: “What should we do with the house?”

The family home is usually the biggest asset to divide. Plus, it’s more than just property. You may have ties to the neighborhood, your kids are happy in their school, and you’ve invested time, energy and love into creating a home there.

If one spouse decides to keep the house in divorce, refinancing gives you a way to access the equity in the home so one spouse can buy out the other. In this excellent blog posting Jeff Weaver writes about the unique challenges to getting a mortgage during a divorce and how you can protect yourself financially and do what’s best for your family.

The Six Essential Attributes of a Mediator:

Although I do mediate a variety of disputes (elder, business, landlord-tenant) most of my work is in divorce mediation. The six attributes Robert Angyal lists in this article are essential in helping couples come to their best agreement during a divorce.

• Expertise in mediation
• Ability to keep confidences
• Optimism
• Persistence
• Patience
• Impasse avoidance skills

As Robert writes, in order to ensure that potential mediators possess all these attributes, you shouldn't be shy about interviewing them. If they don't understand what you are talking about, you shouldn't retain them. You will be doing yourself a disservice if you choose a mediator who lacks any of these attributes - because they won't get the most effective mediator possible.

Divorce Mediation Tips

An excellent article, by Mary McCoy from MoneyCrashers.com, about divorce mediation.

"The assumption that drives mediation is that divorcing spouses – even when they have irreconcilable differences – understand their situation more clearly and can make better individual decisions on their family’s behalf than the court system can. A mediation can prevent couples from viewing the divorce in terms of “winning” or “losing” a battle, and instead see it as an opportunity for a fresh start, which is especially important if children are part of the equation."

Ms. McCoy does an excellent job in describing the involvement of the mediator and a typical mediation session, provides a cost comparison to a litigated divorce, and outlining the advantages and disadvantages of divorce mediation.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

Ten Tips for Surviving the Trauma of Divorce and Separation

In this excellent blog posting, Mary Banham-Hall offers 10 tips for surviving the trauma of divorce and separation:

• Mediate.
• Recognise the different stages of grief.
• Beware the human instinct to fight. 
• Listen hard to each other.
• Avoid demonising each other.
• If you have children, put them first.
• Set boundaries.
• Be aware of transference.
• Know your WATNAS from your BATNAS.
• Keep a sense of proportion.