Alzheimer’s. Feared and dreaded. The word no one wants to hear. When you hear the words "Your mother has Alzheimer's", "Your grandfather has Alzheimer's", "Your Aunt Ellie has Alzheimer's," your world stops. Your mind suddenly races, asking yourself questions like “How will we cope?,” Who will care for Mom?,” or “Will we have to put Dad in a nursing home?” Families struggle with these and other critical questions.
It is not uncommon for every member of a family to answer these questions differently. When members disagree, tensions build, and family relationships suffer. Families often avoid these important and difficult conversations. By not discussing the situation, it often feels less real. In the meantime, the elder’s cognitive capacities continue to decline, and no decisions are made. The elder may soon lack, or in some cases, already lacks, the capacity to participate in decision-making about his or her own care. In each of these situations, mediation can be enormously beneficial.
In this excellent article, Halee Burg describes how, with the help of a neutral and experienced mediator, families can come together in a confidential setting to discuss the many issues that need to be addressed regarding their relative’s future care. Specific discussion topics are identified and each participant voices his/her goals, concerns, and priorities. Options are generated, explored, and thoroughly vetted. Additional information may be gathered, resources identified, and collaborative family decisions are made.
If you or someone you know could benefit from structured assistance in family decision making, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if elder mediation would be beneficial.
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