The Podcast of My Interview on WCAI's The Point Talking About Divorce Mediation

Listen to the podcast of my interview on WCAI's The Point talking about how divorce mediation provides an amicable resolution to partnerships and allows couples to maintain control of the process and outcome. My interview starts at the 32 minute mark.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

The Emotional Divorce

The emotional aspect of divorce is often the most challenging, since the parties’ emotions directly impact all of the other elements. It can be described as the “umbrella” that hangs over each of the other elements.  Described another way, the emotions are the prism through which the parties view all other aspects of their divorce. 

Susan Ingram writes that divorce mediation acknowledges the underlying emotional elements of the divorce and helps each partner to better understand his or her own needs, as well as the needs of the other. When both parties have an understanding of their own needs, as well as those of their partner, they are able to reach a more fair agreement for both of them. This translates into the win-win situation that is often used to describe divorce mediation.

Mediation is A Better Choice for Children of Divorce

Like Susan Ingram the majority of the couples I see in divorce mediation have children. Early on in the mediation process, when I ask them to identify their most important concerns, they invariably say that they are most concerned about the well being of their children during their separation and divorce process – and continuing after they are divorced.

In this excellent blog posting, Susan writes that with an uncontested divorce, couples reache an agreement through mediation that they both feel is fair and equitable – and that focuses on the best interests of their children. Thus, by choosing mediation, they are the ones making the important decisions about their children.

Contrast this scenario with a litigated divorce case, in which each of the couple’s lawyers, in battling for only his or her client’s interests, end up making the divorce more contentious and costly. And, of course, in a litigated divorce case, the judge would likely be making decisions about the children that, in the vast majority of cases, are better left to the parents.

A Plea for Mediation

In this blog posting, Ada Hasloecher shares a letter a wife wrote to her husband asking that they return to mediation and "allowing [their children] to be the loved, well-adjusted and trustful children they are now."

If you are contemplating divorce I urge you to take a few minutes to read it.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

Living Together After Divorce

When most people get divorced the last thing they want to do is continue living together in the same house. One of the prime reasons to get divorced is so you no longer have to live with that crackpot, jerk, cheat, ne’er-do-well, liar, energy-sucker.

As Gary Shaffer writes, when there are no kids, this is usually an easy decision. But life isn’t always neat, and when there are children and limited resources, keeping the family home may be the best way to harness those resources and maintain stability.

The stars need to line up for this to work, and no arrangement is perfect. But this can still be much cheaper than:

• Selling the home;
• Splitting the proceeds;
• Paying taxes on them; and
• Finding two separate dwellings in the same neighborhood.

Nobody Said Mediation Would Be Easy

Like Clare Piro, I think mediation can be a hard thing to do. And while I firmly believe that it is the best option to resolve conflict, I’ll admit it’s still not an easy process.

What makes it hard?

1. You are spending a good deal of time one on one with the other person.

2. You are doing quite a bit of work.

3. You have to make all the decisions.

Why is that hard work worth it?

1. You are spending a good deal of time one on one with the other person.

2. You are doing quite a bit of work.

3. You get to make the decisions.