When couples with significant assets decide to get divorced, it can become a costly and protracted proceeding. The average cost for divorce attorney fees in Massachusetts ranges between $12,500 and $14,500. But high net worth couples are not average, they have many unique issues that take more time to resolve, and their legal fees are often much higher.

With so much property and assets at stake, there is the potential for a long and drawn out court battle. And before everything is said and done, you could find that a substantial portion of your net worth is eaten up in legal fees. It doesn’t have to be this way, however.

 

There are better alternatives these days for high net worth couples, and divorce mediation is an increasingly preferred method. Through mediation, a couple can resolve all of their issues outside of court, so it officially becomes an uncontested divorce. This is not to say that there are no issues along the way, it is just that the couple chooses to work them out on their own with the help and guidance of a professional, third-party divorce mediator.

An uncontested divorce that is done through mediation can save high net worth couples tens of thousands of dollars or more in legal costs, and the couple can complete their divorce in a fraction of the time it would take for the process to go through court. These are not the only benefits of mediation, however. There are several others as well, including:

• Cooperative Environment: Because divorce mediation is done in a collaborative setting, there is a greater likelihood of reaching an satisfactory agreement. The process also allows you to avoid what could be a highly contentious court battle with the potential to foster lasting bitterness between the spouses. The ability to preserve delicate family relationships is especially important if there are children involved.

• Confidential Process: Mediation sessions are held confidentially, and nothing that is discussed ever becomes part of the public court record. This allows participants to speak more freely knowing their words will not be held against them later on, and for high net worth couples, it also helps ensure that no part of their divorce proceeding ever ends up in the media.

• Flexible Settlements: Family courts tend to take more of a cookie-cutter approach to divorce settlements, one of the main reasons being that they simply do not have time to delve too deeply into each individual case. As a result, divorced couples can end up with a final settlement that no one is happy with. Divorce mediation is different. During mediation, you can spend as much time as you need to on the issues that matter most, and you and your spouse have the freedom and flexibility to get creative and come up with win-win resolutions that work for everyone.

• More Control over the Process: At the end of the day, the participants are the ones who must agree to any settlement that is produced during divorce mediation. The process is entirely voluntary, and nothing can be imposed on either of the spouses against their will. This gives the spouses a large amount of control over the process, and it also makes it more likely that they will take ownership of what is agreed to and follow through on all of their obligations.

Virtual Court Hearings: 15 Simple Tips for Success in Zoom Court

As the global pandemic drags on, courts across the country have had to adapt. Many courts have now started conducting virtual court hearings, and even virtual trials. While these virtual “Zoom Courts” have kept our justice system moving, they have also created new challenges for lawyers and clients alike.

In some ways our new “virtual normal” has its benefits. You now can attend your court hearing without having to worry about driving, parking, getting through court security, or even wearing pants.

On the other hand, having to deal with technology and new procedures can make your court appearance now more stressful than ever.

Since virtual court hearings are probably not going away any time soon, learning how to manage the technology is a must for anyone who has a case in court today.

In this excellent blog posting, Karen Covy offers 15 simple tips that will help make your zoom hearing go smoothly.

• Make Sure You Have A Reliable Computer and a Good Internet Connection.
• Download and Run Zoom BEFORE the Day Of Your Virtual Hearing.
• Use Your Real Name to Login.
• If Your Internet Goes Down, Call In.
• Pay Attention to Your Background!
• Be Careful with Virtual Backgrounds.
• Pay Attention to Your Lighting!
• Pay Attention to Sound!
• Position Your Camera Carefully.
• Dress Appropriately!
• Practice Good Zoom Etiquette.
• Don’t Talk Over Anyone.
• Don’t Chat!
• Don’t Record the Hearing.
• Be Careful Using Breakout Rooms.

Technology can be intimidating. It can also be liberating.

No one knows how long “Zoom court” will be part of our reality. Chances are though, now that courts across the country are getting used to handling cases virtually, they will keep handling some parts of them virtually moving forward.

The convenience that online court hearings provide is just too great to give it up completely.

So whether you’re in the middle of a court case now, or you think you may be part of one in the future, mastering court video conferencing just makes sense. Once you do, you’ll not only be able to manage your virtual court case, you’ll be able to maximize the benefits that appearing in court online provides.

 

Understanding the Role of a Guardian Ad Litem

As a parent, you want what is best for your children. You feel that maintaining the role you have in your child’s life is what is best for your child’s overall well-being and future. You hope that during the divorce experience, nothing about your role in your child’s life changes drastically.

However, given the volatile emotions that can surface during the divorce experience, your place in your child’s life could be threatened by an ex-spouse seeking sole custody of your shared child.

Family courts will act in the best interests of the child, but in order to do that, they often will employ the assistance of a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL). In this excellent blog posting, Daniel Pearce explains what a Guardian Ad Litem is and the process they go through.

Falmouth Mediation is Here to Help

At Falmouth Mediation, I have helped numerous couples with creative co-parenting solutions over the years, and I am available to serve your needs.

I am currently offering extended hours to accommodate major scheduling changes. I provide virtual mediation via teleconferencing or videoconferencing, whichever you prefer. For more information or to schedule a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation visit FalmouthMediation.com or call 508-566-4159.

Holiday Parenting/Custodial Time during COVID-19

Separated parents are dealing with unique and significant challenges this year because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Courts across the country have generally affirmed that COVID-19 is not a valid reason to deny parenting time to a parent who is otherwise fit to care for their child(ren), and many states have advised parents to follow normal custody schedules during the pandemic.

While all of this might be good general guidance, we know that following “normal” custody schedules is simply not practical in a world full of “new normals”. COVID-19 is an extraordinary public health event for which there are no prior precedents, and for many families, scheduling disruptions and lingering concerns about the virus will most certainly impact holiday parenting/custodial time, perhaps in some very significant ways.

In this excellent blog post, Roseann Vanella offers excellent guidance on working with your ex about holiday parenting/custodial time during COVID-19.

For more information or to schedule a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation visit FalmouthMediation.com or call 508-566-4159.

 

When Co-Parents Clash in a Pandemic

Of course, the coronavirus pandemic has presented some challenges you don’t typically see with other states of emergency. Challenges even the most prescient parenting plan may not have accounted for.

In this article in the New York Times, Jill Waldbieser makes the argument that the pandemic and sudden shutdown of the courts has effectively stranded parents who were divorced or separated without their usual resource: the legal system.

However, the effective lock-down of the courts in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic does not need to deter couples who have been planning to resolve their divorce through divorce mediation. I offer teleconference and on-line video mediation to quickly and effectively start or continue the divorce process and resolve urgent financial and child-related issues resulting from the coronavirus crisis while the courts are closed. Challenging issues such as visitation and parenting time and the impact of layoffs on financial support orders, including child support and alimony, can be resolved swiftly.

For more information or to schedule a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation visit FalmouthMediation.com or call 508-566-4159.

Considering a Coronavirus Divorce? You’re in Good Company

In this excellent article in the New York Times, Kim Brooks writes that a lot of families are going to need restructuring by the time the Coronavirus is over. They probably needed it before.

Child Support After Death: Hindsight is 20/20

You can’t help wondering every now and then: what would happen if my ex spouse just died? While that would certainly make your divorce go away, it would also make your ex’s child support payments go away. Because of that, it’s worth paying attention to the ways you can secure child support after death.

While most people assume that their ex will be around to support the kids until they are grown and gone, life doesn’t always work that way.

If something happens, and your ex dies, your kids are going to suffer. Not only will they suffer emotionally, but they also might take a huge financial hit, too.

Your ex will no longer be able to pay child support. S/he will no longer be able to contribute towards the kids’ extracurricular activities or college tuition. S/he will no longer be around to pay part of the kids’ medical bills. What’s more, if your ex was carrying the kids on his/her medical insurance, that will be gone too.

So who will support your kids after your ex dies?

Answer: You. Just you.

How can you make sure that your kids are not left destitute and that your ex somehow provides child support after death?

In this excellent blog posting, Karen Covey offers 6 tips for making sure your kids are provided for if your ex dies.

5 Questions Children of Divorce Wish They Could Ask

The wide array of emotions that a child of divorce may convey during the divorce experience is important to their health and mental wellness. It gives them a chance to say what they want to say about the ordeal and helps them understand the trauma. This level of understanding gives them the chance to move on from it one day and grow because of it.

However, depending on their age, maturity, personality, or a variety of other factors, they may not convey the sentiments or emotions that they are feeling. They may not feel confident in their own voice, or they may have guilt, blaming themselves for the divorce in the first place.

Whatever the reasoning may be, there may be a lot left unsaid that a child of divorce wishes to communicate to their parents. In this excellent blog posting Daniel Pearce offers 5 questions children of divorce wish they could ask:

1. “Who am I without my parents being married?”
2. “What will happen to our family pet?”
3. “Do other families go through this?”
4. “Will Mom/Dad have room for me at their new home?”
5. “How do I fit in Mom/Dad’s new life?”

Divorce and Your Mortgage: Here’s What to Know

One of the biggest decisions divorcing couples face is what to do with the marital home. If the breakup is acrimonious, trying to agree on the house and the mortgage can be a nightmare.

The options for divorcing couples depend on a number of factors, such as how their property was financed and titled, whether one partner wants to stay in the home, the amount of equity they have in the home and their credit rating.

Divorce is often a difficult and stressful process, especially when there are assets to split, including a house. In this excellent blog posting, Libby Wells explores different options to help you make the best decision for your circumstances.

Resolving Issues After Divorce Through Mediation

Once a divorce is over, one of the many feelings a person feels is relief that the long, difficult and emotional process is finished. However, even long after a divorce is finalized, circumstances can still come up that require you and your spouse to revisit the terms of the divorce. These issues usually arise as the result of a change in circumstances, such as:

• A change in your job or income.
• A change in health insurance coverage.
• A change in your child’s education.
• An illness or other change in the medical needs of you or your child.
• A change in you or your spouse’s marital status.

Changes to the divorce agreement often have to be approved by the court. While changes can be made through traditional litigation, post divorce mediation is a quicker, less expensive, and more cooperative process that can help you and your spouse reach a mutually beneficial new agreement.

What Issues Can Be Resolved With Post Divorce Mediation?

Post divorce mediation can address any of the points that were decided on during the original divorce that now need to be adjusted due to a change in circumstances for either spouse or the couple’s children, including:

• Child Support Modification. Child support arrangements can be changed after a divorce if there is a change in one spouse’s income or the needs of the child. Mediation can help you and your spouse discuss the issue and come to a decision that is in the child’s best interest.
• Child Custody Modification. Child custody arrangements may need to change as time goes on, for example if one parent is planning to relocate or there is a serious issue with the current arrangement.
• Alimony Changes. Alimony, or spousal support, can be modified after the divorce if circumstances change for one or both spouses. For example, the receiving spouse might get remarried or no longer need the support.
• Modifying Parenting Time Agreements. Parenting time agreements, also called visitation, come in many forms. There is supervised and unsupervised parenting time, and a wide range of schedules that the parents may follow. For example the child can alternate spending one week at a time with each parent, or more. Depending on the family’s schedule and the needs of the child, the couple may want to alter the parenting time schedule through mediation.
• Relocating to Another State With a Child. As mentioned above, parent relocation is a complicated issue in child custody. The courts will typically examine the reasons for the move and whether it is in the best interest of the child. Mediation gives the couple a chance to weigh this important decision themselves.
• Allocating College Costs. Couples often seek mediation to decide who will contribute what to their child’s education, including tuition, books, room & board, transportation, and other issues.

Benefits of Mediation for Post Divorce Issues

For post divorce issues that need to be addressed, mediation has several benefits over a typical court proceeding, including:

• Time. Traditional court proceedings for post divorce changes can end up taking a long time, whereas mediation is a much quicker process. Usually, the more in agreement the couple is about the changes that need to be made, the quicker the mediation will be.
• Expense. Because mediation is faster, requires only one mediator instead of two attorneys, and usually does not involve retainer fees, it is a considerably cheaper option for post divorce proceedings.
• Atmosphere. Mediation encourages peaceful and cooperative resolution, and makes changing a divorce agreement a much more positive and less adversarial process that will be easier on your, your spouse, and your children.