Child custody conflicts are among the most stressful and potentially damaging aspects of a divorce for everyone involved – but is there an alternative? For some the answer may be yes, and can help save peace of mind, psychological well-being, and financial costs.
Rather than battle in court over the type of custody agreement for the children, mediation can be an option that offers a less contentious alternative for many parents. Since the goal of most divorcing parents is the child’s happiness and stability, this can be one way to resolve issues productively during what is an already difficult life event.
The Typical Child Custody Process
Typical child custody cases involve going to court with an attorney as part of the divorce proceedings. The judge will determine the type of custody awarded – whether joint custody or sole custody – and the arrangements for the child’s residence and visitation times.
For parents who are divorcing, resolving these issues in a court of law can be fraught with tension and anxiety. Court costs, attorney fees, and time spent negotiating or battling over the agreement can all add up financially and emotionally.
Yet mediation is an alternative solution that allows both parties to meet with a neutral arbiter to work out the best arrangement with input from both parties. Unless one of the parties is alleging domestic violence or other serious legal violations, making court involvement necessary, this can be something that even a contentious divorcing couple can successfully navigate.
The Mediation Process
I meet with both parents and begins with the idea that this will be a collaborative process. Both parents’ input is part of the discussion and it focuses on positive solutions rather than placing blame or revisiting divorce conflicts.
I, much like family counselors, am trained to work with both parties to facilitate communication. The goal of communication is both short-term and long-term: to first develop an agreed upon custody arrangements that will work successfully for parents and children, and to ideally promote future communication between the parties around parenting issues going into the future.
Because I do not have anything to gain from the outcome, I can be a dispassionate and productive factor in resolving disputes. Children will benefit from less conflict, and in some cases can meet with me as well.
Mediation offers a positive solution for children during a divorce assisting parents in promoting better methods of communication which will be key in moving forward and working together as parents for the child’s best interests long after the divorce.
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Divorce Mediation - What to Expect
Many times the thought of going to court to resolve issues pending in your divorce is frightening. Accordingly, it makes sense, prior to going to court, to at least attempt to mediate your dissolution matter and resolve as many issues as possible.
In this excellent blog posting, Dickinson Wright offers numerous benefits of mediation:
- Recognizing Common Goals.
- Addressing the Unique Circumstances of Your Situation.
- Creating a Safe Place for Communication.
- Fulfilling Your Children’s Needs.
- Reducing the Risk of Harm to Your Children.
- Eliminating the Risk and Uncertainty of Trial.
- Reducing delays in completing your divorce.
- Having the Support of Professionals.
- Lowering Stress.
- Achieving Closure.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Is Mediation Right for You? Here's Everything You Need to Know
Are you asking this type of questions?
- What's the role of mediator?
- How does mediation work?
- What are the advantages of mediation?
- What can be mediated?
- How to prepare for a successful mediation?
This excellent article from Mediator Select gives you detailed and to point answers. You don't need to google many websites.
Here's what's covered:
- What is Alternative Dispute Resolution?
- Mediation Defined
- The Role of the a Mediator
- The Benefits of Mediation
- How Mediation works – What to Expect
- What Can be Mediated?
- How to Prepare for Mediation
- Conclusion
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
https://abelqdros.com/qdro-calculating-a-pensions-present-value/
When someone has a monthly pension, sometimes they would like to keep that pension for themselves and pay the other spouse the cash value. Trying to understand the cash value of a monthly pension is one of the trickiest aspects of divorce mediation and most definitely is not an exact science.
As Steven Able writes in this excellent blog posting, generally speaking, most people who evaluate pensions to develop what is called a “present value,” use computer programs that take into account many factors. The general idea is to figure out how much money you would have to have in a bank account to produce interest that would pay the same amount as the pension pays each month. This is then complicated by the fact that the pension does not pay forever. It stops when the pensioner passes away.
The end result is a number which can then be used to trade off against other assets. Just to get an idea of what these numbers look like — for the $50,000 a year pension, the present value for a 45-year-old who could retire at the age of 65, would be about $380,500. If the same person was 60 years old and could retire at 65, the value would be about $617,600.
For some couples, this is a great way to go because it creates a finite ending in which they are no longer involved with each other financially in any way. Other people are not willing to give up their rights to a pension, and still, others are not willing to pay the price of giving up their right to a pension when they don’t know how long they are going to collect.
As Steven Able writes in this excellent blog posting, generally speaking, most people who evaluate pensions to develop what is called a “present value,” use computer programs that take into account many factors. The general idea is to figure out how much money you would have to have in a bank account to produce interest that would pay the same amount as the pension pays each month. This is then complicated by the fact that the pension does not pay forever. It stops when the pensioner passes away.
The end result is a number which can then be used to trade off against other assets. Just to get an idea of what these numbers look like — for the $50,000 a year pension, the present value for a 45-year-old who could retire at the age of 65, would be about $380,500. If the same person was 60 years old and could retire at 65, the value would be about $617,600.
For some couples, this is a great way to go because it creates a finite ending in which they are no longer involved with each other financially in any way. Other people are not willing to give up their rights to a pension, and still, others are not willing to pay the price of giving up their right to a pension when they don’t know how long they are going to collect.
Whether or not a given couple is going to need a present value computation is a question that has to be decided, usually before paying the price for having it done. The fees for present value calculations are usually in the $500 range.
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
The Need for Budgets in Divorce Mediation
Budget preparation, even in the best of times, is not exactly an enjoyable task that people look forward to. Yet, it’s something that is absolutely imperative when a couple is separating or divorcing.
As Susan Ingram writes in this excellent article, most of the decisions during divorce mediation - child support, spousal support, equitable distribution of assets and liabilities - have a strong monetary/financial aspect to them. And that’s why it’s essential that couples prepare and review their budgets early in the process. Of course, it’s easier to do that if a couple is already living apart and thus has a clearer sense of what their individual expenses actually are. But even if they have not yet separated their households and finances, they still need to begin the process of projecting what their individual expenses will be.
Keep in mind that these discussions and negotiations take place in a mediation setting between the individual parties — not as a litigated matter in court before a judge. Mediation provides a unique setting that encourages couples to work together for the benefit of the whole family.
As Susan Ingram writes in this excellent article, most of the decisions during divorce mediation - child support, spousal support, equitable distribution of assets and liabilities - have a strong monetary/financial aspect to them. And that’s why it’s essential that couples prepare and review their budgets early in the process. Of course, it’s easier to do that if a couple is already living apart and thus has a clearer sense of what their individual expenses actually are. But even if they have not yet separated their households and finances, they still need to begin the process of projecting what their individual expenses will be.
Keep in mind that these discussions and negotiations take place in a mediation setting between the individual parties — not as a litigated matter in court before a judge. Mediation provides a unique setting that encourages couples to work together for the benefit of the whole family.
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