Know the Law: Advice on resolving divorce with grace

Q: My husband and I have decided to divorce. We are sad about the decision and want to be civil for the sake of our kids, but I am also concerned about protecting my rights. Are there ways to resolve our divorce without a costly, nasty legal battle?

A. There are several ways to resolve your divorce. Viewing your options as a range from cooperative and cost-efficient to contentious and expensive, they are as follows: (1) direct party-to-party negotiation; (2) mediation between parties; (3) collaborative law; (4) mediation with the assistance of lawyers; (5) negotiation through lawyers; (6) arbitration; (7) litigation. The first five options are considered the most respectful and civil ways to resolve a divorce.

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ACR Announces Podcast Series New Internet Radio Show: Will Promote Conflict Resolution In 15 Minute Episode

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Wednesday, February 13, 2013

ACR Announces Podcast Series
New Internet Radio Show Will Promote Conflict Resolution In 15 Minute Episodes

(New York, New York) The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) announced today it will begin broadcasting an Internet radio show, The ACR Podcast Series, starting on Thursday, February 14. The show will feature rotating guest hosts and highlight a variety of conflict resolution related news, events, and information relevant to ACR members as well as conflict resolution professionals, academics, practitioners, students, volunteers, and people interested in the field.
ACR President Marya Kolman said, "We are excited to offer this new program to our membership as well as the greater conflict resolution community. The ACR Podcast Series will highlight the work being done by our members, updates on our 16 chapters throughout the country, and raise awareness of various ACR events and projects such as our journal and annual conference. This format allows people to get substantive information in a short time frame."

Each episode is 15 minutes in length giving listeners the opportunity to receive in depth information on each particular show's topic while not having to listen to an extended broadcast. Listeners will be able to listen live as well as have access to episode archives.

ACR also announced in order to increase member and audience interaction with the ACR Podcast Series, it is collaborating with ADRhub.com to host the program's blog. ADRhub.com is a conflict resolution website, created by the Werner Institute at Creighton University, designed to allow people involved in conflict resolution to share and get news, events, job postings, information and participate in free monthly webinars.
Bryan Hanson, Assistant Director of the Werner Institute, said, "ADRhub.com was created to allow people involved in conflict resolution to get information and share it. This collaboration with ACR brings a professional program that not only will be of interest to a variety of people but it will also allow them to interact with each other. Listeners, the hosts, and guests will all be able to post comments to continue the discussion after the show. ADRhub.com was created to promote interaction and the ACR Podcast Series is a great example of this being provided for everyone."

Each podcast archive will be listed on the blog at ADRhub.com [here] as well as at the ACR website, www.acrnet.org/acrradio/. The first episode will allow listeners to tune in live as well as be able to call in with questions. The first episode will allow listeners to tune in live as well as be able to call in with questions.
The host of the first episode is Kim Bunker of ACR’s Membership Committee, and the guest is Susan Terry, who will be sharing details of the new general Advanced Practitioner program for ACR, what it means to you, and how it can benefit your practice. The show will air at 1:00 pm EST.

ACR is a professional organization enhancing the practice and public understanding of conflict resolution. ACR is the nation’s largest professional association for mediators, arbitrators, educators and other conflict resolution practitioners. ACR works in a wide range of settings throughout the United States and around the world.

Podcast: Using Mediation in Divorce

In Massachusetts, as in most states, you have a choice when it comes to how you divorce.

Listen to this podcast from Equitable Mediation as they explain mediation and divorce without a lawyer.

Falmouth Mediation Offers Alternative To Court Action

The Falmouth Enterprise

January 25, 2013

 

Falmouth Mediation Offers

Alternative To Court Action

By MICHAEL C. BAILEY

After 35 years in the corporate world, Alan Jacobs of Falmouth decided it was time for an “encore career.”

Last fall Mr. Jacobs, a 38-year Falmouth resident, opened Falmouth Mediation in Homeport Office Park on Jones Road, offering his skills as a professional mediator to private citizens looking for a less expensive, time-consuming, and stressful way to handle conflicts that would otherwise go straight to a courtroom setting.

“It’s really an opportunity for two people to sit down in a private setting to talk with each other, to hopefully get a better understanding of each other’s position, and negoti­ate an agreement that works for both of them and is not imposed upon them by the courts,” Mr. Jacobs said.

Mr. Jacobs brings with him more than 25 years of training and experi­ence in the mediation field; during his corporate career he acted as a mediator “most of that bringing people together, resolving people’s conflicts, making deals, [and] put­ting together agreements between companies and institutions.”

He received training at the Boston-based MWI (formerly Mediation Works, Inc.) and with Cape Mediation, and has been trained in advance divorce media­tion. In addition to his new private practice, he also provides mediation services through the Cape & Islands Mediation Collaborative and in Barnstable County and Nantucket courts.

In addition to serving clients di­rectly, Mr. Jacobs has connections with other professionals from vari­ous backgrounds to provide case-specific information, such as tax advice or estate planning.

Although the exact process var­ies depending on the individual par­ties and the issue at hand, a typi­cal medication process simply in­volves getting the two sides to dis­cuss their particular needs, wants, and expec­tations in the presence of a neutral third party.

 Mr. Jacobs added that his prefer­ence is to encourage the two sides to work things out with as little direct involvement by the mediator as pos­sible.

“I believe in client self-determination. I’m not the one who makes any decisions whatsoever. What I do is facilitate the process. Yes, I can make suggestions, I can ask for clarifications,” he said, “but often­times what people just need to do is talk something out and get it clear in their own minds what it is that they’re looking for.”

The business focuses specifically on mediation tied to businesses, di­vorce proceedings, and family is­sues such as estate planning, probate matters, and preparing an elderly relative for transitioning into a care facility.

Most of Mr. Jacobs’ clients come seeking divorce mediation, which he noted “is the only agree­ment between people that the courts actually insinuate themselves.”

One of the problems with the courtroom setting, he said, is it tends to be adversarial because the attorneys are out to get the most for their clients rather than seek a fair and equitable division of assets. Through mediation, the parties di­rectly work out an agreement that they both view as fair, and the re­sulting agreement is provided to the court when the couple goes to fi­nalize the divorce.

The judge might ask questions about the agreement and how the parties arrived at their decisions, “and unless there’s something very egregious [in the agreement], the judge will go along with it because the judge recognizes this is some­thing the parties have worked out.”

Mr. Jacobs said he also strives to help clients develop “a lasting agreement, to make sure that there’s no coercion one way or the other…you want it to be something that both parties can live with, and that it’s not a situation where they wind up with buyer’s remorse three months down the line.”

Another benefit of mediation over formal legal action Mr. Jacobs promotes is the lower cost. He cited statistics that showed a court-contested divorce can cost in excess of $70,000 and take on average two to four years to resolve. In compari­son, a typical divorce can be medi­ated for one-tenth the cost and, in an ideal situation, be fully resolved within six months.

He noted that sometimes he ad­vises clients to seek outside legal advice to ensure that the final mem­orandum of understanding is fair, and that the clients fully understand what they stand to gain and lose in the agreement.

Divorcing couples 'should try mediation before using courts'

It is a new year and time to make a fresh start after the pressure cooker atmosphere of a family Christmas.

Unfortunately, for many couples that means planning separate lives. Lawyers even refer to the first working day in January as “Divorce Day” because so many people begin legal proceedings to end their marriages at this time, but ministers are urging couples to seek an alternative to “traumatic”, drawn-out and costly courtroom battles.

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