Just as Chris writes, I am amazed at how often both the purpose and spirit of alimony are misunderstood by receiving spouses in a divorce matter.
Granted that alimony is a bitter pill to swallow for the paying spouse in a divorce who is already on the hook for a myriad of other obligations, it has become the "black sheep" of divorce law, often viewed as evil, greedy, spiteful, selfish, retaliatory and punitive.
Instead, alimony's purpose is to provide basic support for a spouse emerging from a divorce who is in need of financial assistance to pay their day-to-day expenses as they work to rebuild their own financial future, or to provide assistance if they are incapable of gainful employment after divorce due to a disability. In this sense, alimony is entirely moral and appropriate, but only when it is necessary.
Read the rest of Chris' blog posting at Mediate.com.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Monday, January 19, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
How Long Will Our Divorce Mediation Take?
Like Susan Ingram, when I first meet with my clients, they often ask me how long the divorce mediation process will take. My answer is – it depends. In reality, it depends on any number of different factors, such as:
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
- How complicated their issues are
- Whether they have children or not
- Whether they’re both “on the same page” as to the end of their relationship
- Whether they’re waiting for certain events to occur (such as the sale of a home) before finalizing their arrangements.
If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Experts Advise on Avoiding Financial Disaster
As the divorce level rises among couples over 50, experts suggest that the only ones getting rich are the divorce attorneys.
This article from the Law Firm Newswire recommends that, “If older couples can reach an agreement outside of court, they should. Once the process turns to litigation, retirement assets that took a lifetime to build can end up being needed to pay lawyers and court fees.”
It goes on to state that couples can save money by choosing a divorce process other than traditional litigated divorce. The most cost-effective option, frequently, is divorce mediation.
This article from the Law Firm Newswire recommends that, “If older couples can reach an agreement outside of court, they should. Once the process turns to litigation, retirement assets that took a lifetime to build can end up being needed to pay lawyers and court fees.”
It goes on to state that couples can save money by choosing a divorce process other than traditional litigated divorce. The most cost-effective option, frequently, is divorce mediation.
Monday, January 12, 2015
7 tTips Yo Make And Keep A Connection With Your Kids Long-distance
It’s never easy for children to be separated from their parents, whether
it’s because of a brief business trip or a move across the country due
to a job or personal reason. However, after divorce the stakes get
higher because children of divorce often feel the sting of rejection
after one of their parents move out.
In this excellent blog posting Terry Gaspard offers these tips to make long-distance parenting work after divorce:
1. Send your children funny or interesting postcards once a week. If you have more than one child, some group cards are acceptable. Make sure to make the messages positive such as “I’m looking forward to seeing you soon!” or “Good luck on your spelling test.”
2. Call at different times. While it’s a good idea to have a regular time to call your children, spontaneous phone calls can be a nice surprise and help your children to feel that you are thinking of him/her.
3. Use text, Skype, e-mail, and Instagram in addition to regular phone calls. Be sure to send photos and ask questions about their week such as: “How was the sleepover at Madison’s house?”
4. Get to know your children’s friends and be sure to invite them on vacations and outings. Meeting the parents of your children’s friends can be a big plus because they will feel more comfortable if you invite them on a weekend excursion such as a camping trip or to stay at a hotel.
5. Tune into your children’s passions and engage in small talk about it. Research on-line and in-person ways to engage with them around these interests.
6. Be sure to spend plenty of alone time with your children. If you have a new partner in your life, don’t introduce them unless you’re fairly sure it’s a permanent relationship.
7. Ask your children what’s the best way to stay in touch. For instance, would they prefer that you travel to visit them? Or, do they want to come see you? You may find that this changes from time to time so be sure to have regular check-ins with him/her.
In this excellent blog posting Terry Gaspard offers these tips to make long-distance parenting work after divorce:
1. Send your children funny or interesting postcards once a week. If you have more than one child, some group cards are acceptable. Make sure to make the messages positive such as “I’m looking forward to seeing you soon!” or “Good luck on your spelling test.”
2. Call at different times. While it’s a good idea to have a regular time to call your children, spontaneous phone calls can be a nice surprise and help your children to feel that you are thinking of him/her.
3. Use text, Skype, e-mail, and Instagram in addition to regular phone calls. Be sure to send photos and ask questions about their week such as: “How was the sleepover at Madison’s house?”
4. Get to know your children’s friends and be sure to invite them on vacations and outings. Meeting the parents of your children’s friends can be a big plus because they will feel more comfortable if you invite them on a weekend excursion such as a camping trip or to stay at a hotel.
5. Tune into your children’s passions and engage in small talk about it. Research on-line and in-person ways to engage with them around these interests.
6. Be sure to spend plenty of alone time with your children. If you have a new partner in your life, don’t introduce them unless you’re fairly sure it’s a permanent relationship.
7. Ask your children what’s the best way to stay in touch. For instance, would they prefer that you travel to visit them? Or, do they want to come see you? You may find that this changes from time to time so be sure to have regular check-ins with him/her.
Friday, January 9, 2015
7 Common Mistakes to Avoid in Divorce or Separation
While every situation is unique, the fact remains that there is a
right way and a wrong way to go about a separation or divorce. There are
a number of things that you and your spouse can and should do to make
the process go as smoothly as possible.
Unfortunately, as Cheryl and Joe Dillon write in this excellent blog posting , I have encountered many couples that were, whether intentionally or unintentionally, committing common mistakes that actually hindered the separation and divorce process.
If you are planning to leave your spouse, here are seven common mistakes to avoid:
Unfortunately, as Cheryl and Joe Dillon write in this excellent blog posting , I have encountered many couples that were, whether intentionally or unintentionally, committing common mistakes that actually hindered the separation and divorce process.
If you are planning to leave your spouse, here are seven common mistakes to avoid:
- Failing to produce accurate financial information
- Letting emotions take over
- Not considering your kids
- Focusing on the past
- Forgetting about taxes
- Refusing to compromise
- Not taking the time to learn your options before beginning the process
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)