It’s only natural that friends and family volunteer all
sorts of information as to what happened to them, or other people they
know, when they got divorced. Like Susan Ingram, in this excellent blog posting, the clients I see in my divorce mediation
practice often come to me with preconceived and incorrect information as
to what they believe they are “entitled to” as part of their divorce
settlement.
The problem with listening to the advice of family and friends is that the circumstances of each divorce are different.
Furthermore, the decisions that are made – either by a couple
themselves if they are mediating, or by a judge if they are litigating –
depend upon the combined and unique facts of each particular case.
Like Susan, as the couple’s mediator, I can tell them what the statutes and case law provide.
If they ask, I can also advise them what other couples have done in
similar circumstances. And I can help them brainstorm alternative
approaches to resolve difficult issues.
What I can’t do is advocate for either one or give them separate legal advice regarding their decisions. That information would need to be provided by each party’s review attorney. I
always strongly recommend that each party consult with his or her own attorney
to review the settlement agreement I’ve prepared for them.
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