Negative emotions in a marriage, such as anxiety or anger, help us mobilize resources for a challenge. They are your brain’s short-term alarm system, telling you to pay attention because there is a problem, or perhaps opportunity for growth. In order to become our best selves, we must listen to our negative emotions and make a change - whether that’s individual or couples therapy, separation or divorce.
Divorce is incredibly painful. It touches every aspect of life - your children, where you will live, your financial situation, how you engage with your social circle and extended family, and of course your emotional well-being.
How can you stay optimistic during a divorce with all this turmoil? Optimism is the belief that things will eventually get better, even if now is bleak. A divorce is your personal commitment to doing the hard, painful work right now to create a happier, more authentic life for yourself in the future. Whether or not you chose to initiate the divorce, you are moving forward, believing that it will get better.
As you go through such a painful and complicated transition, it may seem impossible to maintain optimism and have a healthy divorce. In this excellent blog posting, Ruth Feinblum offers five strategies to remember and put to use when you are feeling stuck or low.
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