In this excellent blog posting, Dana Westreich Hirt lists twenty things that people going through a divorce - and the many people who know them - might find helpful about divorce mediation:
- Divorce is complicated.
- Fighting makes everything worse.
- Make sure your mediator is neutral.
- Informed decision-making is key.
- Mediators are trained to reflect your “interests”, not your rights.
- Something can be inequitable, but still be legal.
- Lawyers get a bad rap.
- Mediation is a delicate balance.
- Enough with the venting.
- One partner is always further along than the other.
- Emotional uncoupling is a process.
- Mediators are people, too.
- It’s not the mediator’s job to solve your problems.
- Mediators are bound by ethics of confidentiality.
- Co-parenting is not the same as parallel parenting.
- “Be brief; be informative; be friendly; be firm.”
- Be as positive as possible.
- Listen to understand, not to react.
- Focus forward.
- No parenting agreement is ideal.
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