A Court May Not Admit Issues That Are Important To A Divorcing Couple.

In mediation, everything is admissible. Whatever the parties feel is important to them or the issues that they want to resolve can be put on the table and discussed during the session.

In litigation, when you go to court, there are things that are not admissible. What may be important and relevant to a party, a judge can say is not relevant no matter what it is. Whether it’s finances or what one spouse did to the other, the litigation process restricts what can and cannot be admitted.

In this excellent blog posting Jeffrey Bloom describes some issues the court might not think are important, but are important to the parties. In mediation the parties have a say in what goes into the final agreement and settlement. In litigation, the parties lose control, and it is up to the judge to tell them what to do.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

Family strife over elder care? Consider an elder mediator.

Sometimes disagreements and misunderstandings over elder care or inheritance issues can lead families to break apart, affecting descendants for generations. To avoid this, elder mediation is available to resolve family disputes that otherwise may go unaddressed or lead to costly and traumatic litigation. A successful resolution can preserve family ties to the benefit of the entire family tree.

In this excellent article Daniel O. Tully writes how, while some families can work out these issues on their own, many cannot, and the disagreements or hurts either fester or break out into open conflict and, occasionally, litigation. Resolution through mediation can bring much better results.

Skilled mediators can often bring families back together who otherwise would break apart forever. This can be well worth the time and expense and may be much cheaper and more pleasant than the alternative.

What NOT To Do On Social Media During Divorce

Over the last 15 years, before the prevalence of email, Twitter and Facebook divorce has changed a lot.

In this excellent blog posting Sherri Donovan outlines 10 things to consider if you are divorcing during this new “digital age.”

Be Super Heroes To Your Children

Divorcing parents: you can be super heroes to your children. Here's the plot twist: becoming their super hero means accepting that your children deserve to experience both a "Super-Mom" and "Super-Dad." Your marriage is ending, but your relationship as co-parents continues. Super hero status depends on whether you exercise your powers to communicate positively with your children about their other co-parent. They need your permission and encouragement, demonstrated by all of your words and actions, to enjoy their relationship with your ex-spouse and feel supported for doing so.

In this excellent blog posting, Michael Aurit outlines four commitments you can make as co-parents that will change the course of your children's lives.

1. Begin to access your super power--choose a healthier divorce.
2. Be truthful--but tell them only what they need to know.
3. Never argue with or criticize your co-parent in the presence of your children.
4. Proactively support your children's relationship with your co-parent.

The most heroic gift you can give your children is taking every opportunity possible to speak positively about your co-parent. Divorce in itself will not likely damage your children. However, how you choose to get divorced and behave after your divorcewill make the difference. Choose to be super heroes to your kids. In doing so, you may also discover that you are the greatest super hero to yourself.

A Judge's View of Divorce and Mediation

This article by Judge Dale Harris is a frank assessment of divorce.

"The process is never easy, and sometimes it can bring out the absolute worst in otherwise good people. Judges can be asked to decide how property is distributed, who gets custody of children, and what schedule the children will be with either parent. I can only imagine how frightening it must be for the parties to leave those decisions in the hands of a total stranger."

Judge Harris goes on to describe efforts in the court system to encourage mediation summing up his article with, "Some couples will have issues that they just cannot agree to resolve; and when that happens, the courts are here to make those decisions. But the more effort the parties and the system can make to encourage an amicable resolution, the better off everyone will be in the long run."

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.