Happy Valentine's Day. I Want a Divorce.

Unfortunately, most people still think of divorce as the 1980s War of the Roses scenario, where each party hires the meanest pitbull of a lawyer they can find, spends thousands of dollars on legal fees and fights it out in court.  But, most of us did not begin our marriage by siccing an attorney on our future spouse, why would we end it this way?  

In this excellent blog posting on the Huffington Post Divorce Blog, Michelle Crosby speaks to the fact that, for most of us, divorce is not a legal problem. It is a family in transition from one household to two. There are no legal answers to emotional issues such as anger, betrayal, sadness and fear. No law has been written that magically determines who should get the kids when or who cares more about that crystal vase in your living room.

Too often, lawyers hired with this mentality focus on starting legal debates, not finding solutions. These debates can last months, or even years; leaving a judge to decide which lawyer wins. Meanwhile, your family loses.

So before you get caught in a two-lawyer "contest" you should know this:

• The vast majority of divorce cases (95 percent according to some experts) settle outside of the courtroom.
• Most litigated divorces will be sent to mediation prior to going before a judge.
• A moderately complex, yet very typical divorce can easily cost between $25,000 and $50,000.
• Litigation is public.

With facts like these surrounding the traditional, adversarial divorce, it is no wonder that people are increasingly looking to mediation, collaborative law and Wevorces.  Because most divorce cases will ultimately settle out of court, it is just common sense to cut to the chase and choose a forum-focused settlement.  These approaches can more easily navigate the legal, financial and emotional issues inherent in every divorce, saving time, money and unnecessary stress on the family.

Consider the findings of a study (PDF) that compared litigated cases to those handled via collaborative law, mediation or other dispute resolution techniques. It found that dispute resolution cases resulted in:

• Higher client satisfaction regardless of whether or not they reached an agreement.
• More benefits to the parenting relationship.
• Significant savings in costs.
• Settlement within months.
• More discretion and privacy.

To learn how mediation can help you protect your rights and tailor an agreement specific to your family’s needs while saving you time and money, give us a call today at  508-566-4159  to schedule a FREE, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.