The good news is mediation can help most any couple who is willing to voluntarily work together in good faith come to an agreement they both find fair and equitable.
In this blog posting Joe Dillon writes about a number of things you can do to prepare yourself to make mediation work for you.
Be “Future Focused”
There are a number of things that may have brought you to the decision to divorce but the time to be concerned with those old arguments is over. The past is the past and whatever brought you to the decision to divorce should now be replaced with thoughts of “how do I move forward in the most peaceful and cost effective manner possible?”Because mediation is future focused, it can help you and your spouse focus less on discussing “what went wrong” and more on “where do we go from here?” Answering the questions and gathering the information that will help you craft and agreement you both find fair in your future lives. De-emphasizing where you were and discussing where you want to be is what mediation is all about.
Have Realistic Expectations
Divorce only creates expense – it does not create income. Going from one household to two households sharing that exact same income is only going to make matters more challenging. In mediation we share the facts as difficult as they might be for both of you to hear. Because we work for both of you, we go through a thorough budgeting exercise together so you both see what your expenses while living together were as well as what they might look like once separated. Helping couples have realistic expectations of their lives moving forward allows them to understand the financial realities of their situation so they can come to mutually acceptable agreements on critical issues like child support and alimony.Negotiate in Good Faith
If you want mediation to work for you it can if you follow one simple rule – be honest with your spouse, your mediator and yourself. In order for mediation to work you need to be willing to fully disclose all assets and liabilities and enter them into discussions. In mediation you both get to decide what your settlement looks like. So if you each fully disclose everything you’ve got and put it all out on the table, mediation can help you each give some to get some and come to an agreement you both find fair.Of course mediation is a voluntary process and if your spouse isn’t willing to mediate then sorry to say you’re getting lawyers and will have to go the more traditional (i.e. expensive and stressful) route. But if you can follow these three tips, love your children and really want to move forward with your lives, then mediation can definitely work for you.
To learn how mediation can help you protect your rights and tailor an agreement specific to your family’s needs while saving you time and money, give us a call today at
508-566-4159
508-566-4159 to schedule a FREE, no-obligation,
private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key
details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if divorce
mediation would be beneficial. 
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