Gray Divorce – Why Mediation is the Better Option

 

In Falmouth, MA, the town in which I practice, in 2010, 34% of the populations was 60 years old or older.  This percentage is expected to rise to close to half by 2020.

Traditionally, the older the married couple, the less likely the chance of a divorce. However, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 25% of all divorces in 2007 involved couples who had been wed 20 years or more. And, while the overall divorce rate in the U.S. has decreased since 1990, it has doubled for those ages 50 and older. The surge has spawned the term “gray divorce.”

Reasons vary. Longer lives could mean more years with a spouse who they no longer want to live with. Having grown and moved on, their children are no longer a reason to stay together. There is less of a stigma about divorce. More women are working, with some out-earning their spouses. There is even a theory that “baby boomers,” the generation that is now spiking divorce rates, are a generation that feels a strong entitlement to their lifestyle choices. Whatever the reason, gray divorce is becoming a much more common event, and it’s important to understand that these types of divorces are markedly different from divorce between younger couples.

Older couples who are facing divorce have different priorities than those who are younger. While child support or visitation schedules may no longer be a concern, older couples instead have to consider things like planning for retirement, learning to live on a fixed income, equitably distributing their assets, and paying for medical insurance and/or healthcare.

Even if not divorced, older adults can be financially vulnerable in today's economy. But a separation or divorce hardly helps. The closer to retirement, the more important it is to manage resources. There is less time to recover financially, recoup losses, retire debt and ride the waves of booms and busts. Preserving the nest egg means splitting it up in a way that will bring the most benefit to each person. And, spending it on a fight means less for everyone.

Why Mediation is a Better Option

Often, when older couples divorce, they don’t want to waste their time going through lengthy court battles or their hard-earned savings on expensive lawyers. They still care a great deal for one another, but have simply grown apart and no longer wish to share their lives together. Mediation provides them an opportunity to control their cost and timelines, to focus on their future needs and goals, and to maintain a healthy family. Call today for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation to see how mediation can benefit you and your family.