How Does a Mediated Divorce Differ from a Litigated Divorce?

There are many explanations of the differences between a mediated divorce and a litigated divorce. However, the key difference is: Litigated divorce is more adversarial while mediated divorce strives for mutual benefit.

Divorcing is one of the most difficult things you will ever do in your life. Ending a marriage can be painful, frustrating, frightening and completely life-altering. During a divorce, you and your future ex-spouse have a common task: to bring your marriage to a conclusion. It is better for the both of you to do so without a large investment of time and money and with as little stress and antagonism as possible.

During divorce mediation, I sit with the parties at a small oblong conference table in my office. The discussion is structured as a side-by-side activity in which the two parties jointly face a common task–finding the best solution for all concerned. Mediation allows people to talk with each other in an atmosphere of dignity and mutual respect and gives them the freedom to come to an agreement that is tailored to their needs. With my help, the parties involved generate different options to meet both of their needs.

As a divorce mediator, I guide and facilitate conversation, helping people to sort out their needs and interests. With my help, the divorcing spouses involved work together to reach agreements. Together, they arrive at workable solutions. I do not act as judge, do not make decisions and do not impose solutions. An aspect of divorce mediation many people are attracted to is that the clients create the terms of the agreement.

The mediation process is confidential. Your privacy is respected throughout.  As a divorce mediator, I will not share anything you tell me, either with family members or other people or agencies.  (Well, almost anything.  Abuse and plans to commit a crime are two exceptions).

However you may feel about each other today–however angry, sad or hurt you are–during the mediation, you have to work together if you want the best outcome for yourselves and your family. Divorce mediation is a flexible and creative process that encourages finding solutions with which both you and your spouse can live.

To discuss with someone if your situation may be appropriate for divorce mediation, in Massachusetts, contact me at Alan@FalmouthMediation.com or 508-566-4159.