The Parties Are "Too Far Apart"

Often, in working with divorcing couples, it is easy for the parties to misread the opposition. The attitudes that they display often create a perception that the parties are "too far apart." Or, one or both parties may feel that the other side is being "unreasonable."

The common refrains about being too far apart explain why mediation is needed. If the two sides were close, they would probably settle the case on their own. The reason why they need a mediator is that they are polarized.

In this blog posting, Michael Carbone writes that the successful mediator will not allow the parties to give up hope. (S)he will keep the parties engaged until both sides feel that they have been fully heard and are ready to make a deal.

Mediators are not miracle workers, and the secret of their success is not found in a "bag of tricks." It is in knowing that "too far apart" is usually a fallacy.