Divorce Envy

Divorce envy - the uncomfortable feeling that someone else's marriage is ending in a more graceful way than your own.

In this blog posting Amy SohnI writes how, in an era when child centrality reigns supreme and many Gen X–ers bear scars from their own parents' hostile uncouplings, the goal for a growing number of separating parties is no longer merely to "get through" a divorce but to emerge from it triumphantly at peace, having handled the dissolution of their marriage calmly, reasonably, and even lovingly.

Lisa Brateman, a psychotherapist and relationship specialist in New York, says that the phenomenon perpetuates itself. "Clients who see other couples go through seemingly amicable divorces may realize there are better ways to go about it than vengeance and retaliation," she says. "It doesn't have to be like The War of the Roses."

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation.  We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.

The Parties Are "Too Far Apart"

Often, in working with divorcing couples, it is easy for the parties to misread the opposition. The attitudes that they display often create a perception that the parties are "too far apart." Or, one or both parties may feel that the other side is being "unreasonable."

The common refrains about being too far apart explain why mediation is needed. If the two sides were close, they would probably settle the case on their own. The reason why they need a mediator is that they are polarized.

In this blog posting, Michael Carbone writes that the successful mediator will not allow the parties to give up hope. (S)he will keep the parties engaged until both sides feel that they have been fully heard and are ready to make a deal.

Mediators are not miracle workers, and the secret of their success is not found in a "bag of tricks." It is in knowing that "too far apart" is usually a fallacy.

Compulsory Mediation for Divorcing Couples in the UK

The UK government is committed to mediation as a way of resolving family disputes. It is cost effective and should produce a better outcome. If couples are willing to approach their split constructively, then mediation can provide a less confrontational and cheaper way of resolving their differences and there is evidence that this is a more constructive route to take when children are involved.

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/mediation-is-now-compulsory-for-divorcing-couples-501207.html

Four Valuable Life Lessons to Learn from Your Divorce

The aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. It’s all about our acceptance of what is and determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children.

In this excellent blog posting Rosalind Sedacca offers four vital steps to embracing your divorce as a catalyst to a brighter future.

Figuring Out the "What Ifs" of Your Divorce Agreement

Sometimes when people come into a mediation or Collaborative process, the problems they face are so complex, so compressed and entwined that they seem unsolvable in their current form.

When this happens, it becomes impossible for anybody to hold in their minds what the problem is, what is important to them, all the "what ifs" and also the potential solutions. Not surprisingly, people get very anxious and angry because their problem seems insurmountable and they believe themselves to be stuck.

In this excellent blog posting Katherine Miller describes how mediators help people think through all of the elements of the problem so there is room for resolution.

If you or someone you know could benefit from assistance in decision making during a divorce, contact Falmouth Mediation at 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation.  We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns, and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.