How to Hire a Family Lawyer Who Won't Ruin Your Divorce

There has been a lot of discussion lately in the mediation community about the recently released film Divorce Corp.  The general consensus seems to be that while the film raises some important concerns, it unfairly relies on divorce horror stories to paint family lawyers as opportunistic money-chasers and family law judges as corrupt tyrants. 

In this excellent blog posting Rackham Karlsson looks at one specific issue implicated in the film that should be of concern to anybody going through a divorce - who to hire as a lawyer. 

Do I even need a lawyer?

Strictly speaking, you do not need a lawyer's or any other professional's help to get divorced.  You can get divorced yourself, or you can choose to enlist the help of a mediator, an attorney, a financial advisor, a child psychologist, etc.  Generally speaking, it is a good idea to at least have a sideline attorney at your disposition, to make sure you have a qualified professional who can advise you independently throughout the divorce process.

What role will your lawyer play?

The most important question to ask of any lawyer is, "Can you provide the kind of legal assistance that I need?"  Most people do not need an aggressive attorney who will drag the family through court and attempt to wring every last penny out of the marital estate, or go to the mat over child custody when you need to preserve your ability to communicate with the other parent.  Instead, most people need an attorney who will inform them of their rights, help them understand the consequences of different options available to them, participate in negotiations as needed, and review any agreements prior to signing.  You should choose a lawyer who understands the role you want them to play and is comfortable in that role.

What does "zealous advocacy" mean to you?

Lawyers have a duty of zealous advocacy to their clients. However, the term "zealous advocacy" can be taken to mean many different things. Unfortunately, too many lawyers interpret it as a duty to use any means necessary to get the best financial outcomes for their clients. This is completely inappropriate for the vast majority of family law cases.  When it comes to family issues, intangible concerns can be just as important as financial concerns, and often are far more important.

What kind of advice is your lawyer giving?

One reason to hire a divorce attorney is that he or she has the benefit of experience handling many divorces, and therefore has insights into the laws and processes that might not be immediately apparent to you.  However, you should be concerned if your lawyer is giving advice that threatens your ability to reach an agreement fairly and respectfully.

Be careful of well-meaning advice.

As you navigate your way through your divorce, you will inevitably receive a great deal of well-meaning advice from friends and family.  Be careful about this advice.  Never, ever forget that this is your life and your divorce.  Every situation is different, and what works for somebody else might be disastrous for you. Hire an attorney who will help you get the kind of divorce you want, not the kind of divorce somebody else wanted.

Remember, you get to decide who you hire as an attorney. At this critical juncture in your life, your choice of attorney can make a tremendous difference, not only in how your divorce proceeds, but also in what your life looks like post-divorce.

To learn how mediation can help you protect your rights and tailor an agreement specific to your family’s needs while saving you time and money, give us a call today at  508-566-4159  to schedule a FREE, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if divorce mediation would be beneficial.