Gray Divorce – Why Divorce Mediation Might Be Right for You

Traditionally, the older the married couple, the less likely the chance of a divorce. However, according to a recent article published by the New York Times, while divorce rates over all have stabilized and even inched downward, the divorce rate among those 50 and older has grown in the last fifty years from 2.8 percent to 15.4 percent. For the first time, more Americans 50 and older are divorced than widowed, and the numbers are growing as baby boomers live longer. Sociologists call them gray divorcees.

As I’ve written in previous postings, reasons vary. Longer lives could mean more years with a spouse who they no longer want to live with. Having grown and moved on, their children are no longer a reason to stay together. There is less of a stigma about divorce. More women are working, with some out-earning their spouses.

Regardless of the reason, rising divorce rates among the older American population has serious implications that go well beyond the couples themselves. Researchers at Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio say that just like widowhood, divorce can contribute to economic strain and poor health, placing a larger burden on children and, given shrinking family size, on institutional support from government and other sources.

 “It’s still true that in general the longer you are married, the lower your chance of divorce, but it’s sure no guarantee anymore,” said Stephanie Coontz, a  family history professor at Evergreen State College in Washington State, in a statement in the New York Times.

“I don’t necessarily think this will accelerate, but I don’t expect it to go down,” she said. “Staying together until death do us part is a bigger challenge than it used to be because we expect so much more of marriage than we did in the past, and we have so many more options when a marriage doesn’t live up to those expectations.

“The extension of the active, healthy life span is a big part of this,” Professor Coontz said. “If you are a healthy 65, you can expect another pretty healthy 20 years. So with the kids gone, it seems more burdensome to stay in a bad relationship, or even one that has grown stale.”

Divorce Mediation is a Better Option

Divorce mediation certainly won’t fix a marriage, but it can help the situation when older couples divorce. Often, the couples still care a great deal for one another, but have simply grown apart and no longer wish to share their lives together. They don’t want to waste their time going through lengthy court battles or wasting their hard-earned savings.

Divorce mediation provides them an opportunity to control their cost and timelines, to focus on their future needs and goals, and to maintain a healthy family.  To learn more about divorce mediation, contact me today at Alan@FalmouthMediation.com or 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, confidential consultation.