I DON'T Love Your children!

“Do you know what I say to couples who turn up in my courtroom?  First, I ask them what they are doing in my courtroom. They explain they are there to settle a custody issue. I then ask them, "Do you love your children? Well, then what are you doing here?  BECAUSE, I DON’T LOVE YOUR CHILDREN. I don’t even know your children and you are putting your children into the hands of a total stranger who doesn’t love them.”

The above is a true statement by a well respected New York judge.

So often if you have locked horns with your spouse you think that there has got to be a fair, impartial, and honest judge who will see the situation from your perspective and choose what you know is best for your kids. After all that is the mandate and mantra of the family court system, to decide “in the best interests of the children”. But as you can see, even terrific judges can’t know your children as well as their parents and while you may think it is obvious what should be decided, it may not appear that way to someone who doesn’t know anything about you, your spouse or your children.

When you decide to go to court keep in mind that you are losing control of your ability to make decisions for your family. No matter what you say, after a judge has ruled, you will be given a court order to follow through with his/her decision and you are bound by that order unless you return to court to appeal the judgement.

Read Kathleen Costello Bar-Tur’s posting on The New York Center for Divorce & Family Mediation blog.

Is there an affordable way for couples to avoid such situations, to maintain control of their divorce and to develop their own fair and lasting solutions outside the courtroom?

Yes.  One way, rather than taking a confrontational position, is to try divorce mediation.

To learn more about divorce mediation, contact me today at Alan@FalmouthMediation.com or 508-566-4159 for a free, no-obligation, confidential consultation.