To Move or Not To Move an Elder

Four out of ten American adults provide care for an aging relative, a figure that is projected to rise dramatically in the next decade.  If you are among these adult caregivers, you are intimately familiar with the myriad of issues you face and the enormity of the challenges that accompany your role.  Whether you are caregiving now, or know that it is only a matter of time before you will be, a threshold issue that may well arise during the caregiving period is where the person for whom you are providing care will live.

The issue of an elder’s possible move is complex and laden with layers of emotion.  It is not uncommon for an elder to have lived in their home for thirty, forty, or even fifty years.  Their home is the place where they metaphorically “grew up,” where they raised their children, where the family congregates, where the stories of their lives are shared and displayed. Many cannot bear to even consider, much less discuss, leaving the place that means everything to them.

Halee Burg, in this excellent blog posting on Mediate.com, looks at some common scenarios where:

• An elder wants to remain in the place they consider home. 
• A spouse, adult child or other caregiver believes it is time to consider a different living arrangement. 
• Conversation has stalled, family tensions are on the rise and no decisions are being made. 

In the silence that ensues, elders and each of their caregivers are likely to become further entrenched in their positions, perhaps straining or fracturing the close bonds each family has shared.

At Falmouth Mediation we work with and support families in having the discussions necessary to work through these critical residential decisions. With training in issues related to estates, eldercare and social gerontology we can help facilitate family discussions about matters relating to safety, finances and capabilities while keeping in mind the senior’s desire for individual control and respect.

If you or someone you know could benefit from structured assistance in family decision making, contact Falmouth Mediation for a free, no-obligation, private, confidential consultation. We will be happy to discuss the key details of your situation, address any concerns and help you decide if elder me­diation would be beneficial.